Advise or not to advise?

So, after talking to a friend last weekend I've decided I would like to start a website/blog/column to give people relationship advice. This will range from finding someone to be in a relationship with, to marriage to family relationships. I'm still in the preparatory stages, but I wanted to know if you'd read it or even think it's something I should do. I'm just throwing this out there to see if I should move forward. Thanks!

Integrity

I've been thinking a lot lately about integrity. There are two things on my mind:

1. I learned what integrity was long before I knew what the word was. My father is a man with great integrity and I believe that's how I learned it. He was never dishonest for his own gain. He didn't cheat people. He is honest in his work. And I can say that it hasn't always been easy. Because of his integrity he doesn't cheat anyone out of a fair wage even if he can barely afford it or has to go without, he might not get the promotions or credit he deserves at work, and people may not realize how valuable he is. However, he has extraordinary value and character. He is very loyal due in part to his integrity. I'll just share one experience that has always reminded me to have integrity in my life. When I was 17 I was trying to find a car to buy. After looking for awhile I found the cutest car. It was perfect and I wasn't too short in it either. The cost ended at $700. The lady even said that she'd write down the sale price as lower so I could pay less in sales tax when we registered it. I thought it was a great deal, but my Dad in his quiet way declined that offer because it simply wasn't honest. I didn't mind since I had enough money saved. That happened 7 years ago now, but it means everything to me. To know that principle was more important than my self interest taught me so much.

2. At work there is a project they're doing with another company and the other company has completely lacked integrity out of greed. They want the business and the money, but they don't necessarily have the know how. Every time it has been brought up that they don't know what they're doing or what not they just try to hide from it or deny it. It has now reached a point where some individuals could be fired or required to reimburse us. It's really bad. In this economy can people really afford to lose their company money or their own jobs? I don't think so. A little bit of integrity in knowing your own limitations was all that was required. People are much more likely to forgive a humble and repentant person than a greedy, arrogant SOB.

So, let's all take a clue from my father. Let's leave the self-interest to lobbyists and do everyone a favor and behave with a little more integrity.

Los Angeles

I frickin' live in Los Angeles! I live here! I have an apartment, a job and even a parking space here. I know it's been about 8 months, but I'm still totally in shock. When I was younger I always thought it would be cool to live here, but I never thought I would. I imagined myself marrying some accountant or engineer and moving to the midwest. That just isn't how it happened, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I live in a really awesome city with cool new things going on all the time. I feel like I'm in on all the inside jokes on TV and in movies. Sometimes I just look out our front door to see the Hollywood Hills and all the lights just in awe that I actually live here. It hasn't been easy, but it's totally been worth it. There is plenty here to displease, but there is also something magical about this place. I love that I still get excited about living here. It's just so cool and with my husband being in film it's only going to get more exciting. Things are just great!

My hubby!

Something got me thinking today about if I could survive without Eric. Not necessarily if he died, but we were separated by time, distance, parallel universes or whatever. At first I thought sure I’d be fine. I could take care of myself. It would be a little sad when I wanted a kiss or a hug and he wouldn’t be there, but I’d survive. Then, I thought about how hard it would be when I was sad or having a bad day. It would be hard to not have my support system there, but again I would survive because I’ve done it all alone before. Then, I had a scary thought come to me. If we were separated, but I knew Eric was hurt, sad, depressed or whatever I would go insane. Just thinking about it made filled me with frustration. I wanted to reach out to him to make it all better, but I couldn’t. If we weren’t together and he needed me I would feel so powerless and out of control. I always want to be there for him to pick up his pieces. I realized as I was going through these emotions that I really do love Eric. Not like I didn’t know before, but this was a clear indication that I love him completely, more than I love myself. I can struggle and hurt, but never in a million years do I want him to struggle with anything.

Privacy

So, I read this article today. It’s about how people are more likely to give up information about themselves as they see other people do the same. It made mention of sites such as Facebook where many of us share our lives with people. Often we share more than we should or more than we thought we wanted to. Essentially as we see people share very personal secrets we are willing to do the same. The secrets don’t have to be the same, but as the level of secrecy increases in other peoples’ sharing so does our. Their example was to say that when other people admit to cheating on their spouses we might feel more at ease with admitting to cheating on our taxes. Reading this made me think of a few things.

1. I think it’s better that we’re sharing because we stop feeling so alone knowing that we’re not the only ones with certain secrets. We aren’t the only ones who make mistakes, but just as they pick up and move on so can we.
2. This constant sharing and knowing that others are doing the same can give us a false sense of security. We start to feel that the “bad” things we’re doing can’t be that bad if so many other people are doing the same. It kind of makes bad choices acceptable because they’re normal.
3. It’s interesting to me that so many people have so many BIG secrets. People tend to hold onto secrets because they are painful to share or they did something wrong. Perhaps if people didn’t so many inappropriate or immoral things they wouldn’t have so many secrets to keep.
4. The people who commented on this article did not read the same article I read. They all went on about how much information we’re giving away like our names, email addresses, etc. Sure, it’s important to protect our privacy from those who might do us harm, but I’m fairly certain that wasn’t the point of this article; at least not for me. We are giving away far more important personal information than that. We are confessing our sins to the world and not to God anymore. We are trying to find absolution by the easing of our conscience when we admit wrong-doing. That however, is not the way for us to find forgiveness from the ones we’ve hurt or from God.
5. Perhaps, this shredding of privacy is a sign of distancing from God in our society. If we lose those intimate relationships in our lives we seek for them elsewhere. Part of intimacy is sharing the deepest part of ourselves with someone else. Without an intimate, close relationship with God perhaps we’re seeking it with the open world. I don’t know, but I thought I’d throw the idea out there.
   
   Okay, those are my ideas on privacy. What are yours?

Outrage

Last night at the gym I was just watching Larry King Live while I pushed myself on the elliptical machine. Then, there was a commercial about a couple with this completely wretched husband. The kind of guy you see a grandma smacking with her purse. Anyway, as he leaves the wife winks at this guy at the restaurant bar. Then, the product is named. It's for a website with the slogan, "When divorce isn't an option." I'm not going to list the website because it's absolutely disgusting. I couldn't believe what I thought it was, but I saw it again tonight. I checked it out when I got home. It's absolutely a website for married individuals to find someone else to have an affair with. It's in complete promotion of extra-marital affairs.

I'm just so appalled that someone saw a need for that "service". It's more appalling that they are doing enough business that they can afford advertising. It just can't even express in words how unbelievably angry that website makes me. People should not be having affairs. I think if there is a problem in a marriage the couple need to try to work it out and not add onto the problems. There are all sorts of moral issues that I won't even get into here. I suppose also I just hate how people these days feel like they can just escape their problems but doing whatever pleases them. As the adage goes, "Two wrongs don't make a right."

The Economy

For many of you who read my blog this probably isn’t your thing, but it matters to me. I read this article this morning. For me it was frustrating to see that our government had been foolish in spending all this “bailout” money. You can’t just throw money at the problem to make it go away. I’m a fiscal conservative. I don’t believe in big government or big government spending. I really believe that money should have gone into job creation. I mean just look at the infrastructure of our nation. It’s completely falling apart in some ways. I’m not an expert, but I think there were better options for how to heal this economy. People need to feel stable financially before this economy will stabilize. The only way for people to have financial stability is to get them back to work and have them working in jobs they aren’t afraid to lose. Until people have the money to pay off their debts and what not the banks need to continue to be scrupulous in their loaning of money. It’s not going to be easy, but giving more money to banks is not the answer. It is not the most efficient way to put money back into the economy.