Relief Society Presidency

Back in April I was called to be the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society presidency in my ward here in LA. (A ward is a congregation specific to a geographic region for organizational purposes in the LDS/mormon faith.) Seriously, that was my new calling and I'm only 25. The president and 1st counselor are the same age as my mother if not older.

Suffice it to say I was incredibly intimidated, but very excited nonetheless. I'm the counselor over RS activities. It's been so much fun and really exciting. I've been able to conduct meetings and give lessons. I've planned (with a committee) some really great activities that have been really fun for all of the sisters.

I was thinking the other day though that I feel like this calling is happening to me and that I'm not happening to this calling. I am working really hard though and trying hard to make things better. I'm doing my best at being prayerful and doing for the sisters in the ward as Heavenly Father would have me do.

This is a calling that I love and I'm working really hard to do my best at it. It's so much fun and truly a blessing to be able to serve in such an exciting way.

If You Really Knew Me...

I've started watching the new MTV show "If You Really Knew Me". In it they help students break down boundaries, which in turn leads them to know each other better and have less animosity in the school. It's basically a reality show version of The Breakfast Club, but without the detention.
This quote this morning sums it all up.
"If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate." - Elbert Hubbard

I guess I wanted to try this activity for myself. I think I'm so desperate for people to see who I am and I think the real me is hidden beneath the intial projection of myself.

This is how I think people view me: semi-confident, fun, a jokester, and sassy. On the other hand, I think I come off as a bit negative, whiney, lazy, dramatic, too serious, etc.

I think at times those are all true. Although I definitely prefer the first set of characteristics and I hope those come out the most.

If you really knew me though you would know there is a deeper side to me. Out of this place comes love, an overwhelming amount of love for other people. I want people to be happy and to have all the best life has to offer. I want to help and make their lives happier. I just want to love everyone ever. I am filled with compassion for those that suffer. That's who I really am beneath the less than pleasant parts of me.

And for the record I am totally sassy and don't take much too seriously. I get stressed out about things, but beyond that I'm not much bothered. Everything is available for joke in my opinion.

Anyway, that's me. Who are you?

Being a Mom

I have never wanted anything more than to have my own family. To be married with lots of kids (lots means something very different in LA than it does in Utah) all hanging out in a happy home. Nothing else really seems to fulfill me and I ache for the time Eric and I get to have children. I love being married and I'm happy for the time the two of us have had to grow up and mature together.

Today, I cam across this little article. Boy oh boy did it get me thinking. It's basically discussing how some parents love their children, but hate their life now. I just hate that being a parent has come off as so negative. That somehow having kids has ruined their lives.** From what I've seen and experienced in my own life it's very apparent to me that parenting is really hard. Kids are needy and demand your attention. Loving and nurturing them is a selfless act. For those parents that left comments saying that they hated kids, wished they'd had abortions or that their kids ruined their lives I can't stop but think of how selfish they are.

They act as though everyone lied to them. That somehow everyone fooled them into thinking the rewards were greater than the challenges. Still that's pretty selfish to think. I just find it unbelievable that people could hate their lives so much because of their children. It sounds to me like they're not doing something right. They've either raised miserable kids or they have not given themselves permission to still have a life outside of their kids.

I appreciate the honesty of this article, but it makes me sad. I really hope that I don't ever regret the kids I hope to have one day. I want to love them and go through hard things with them. I want to laugh and play with them. I dream of the day I can take them to Disneyland for the first time and see their excitment. I even look forward to the fights and challenges. I just want to experience it all and I know I won't be perfect, but I'll try my best.

**Let's be clear about this, I am not yet a parent so my opinion on this topic may be completely void and useless.**

Parking

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I hate parking. It often appears that I don't like driving or that I'm not good at it. However, that's not true. It's what happens after I drive somewhere that freaks me out. Once I get to my location I don't just get to stop and get out. I have to park the car. That is where I get scared. Seriously, you're close to other cars and it's a delicate dance. I just don't like any parking and parallel parking is the worst. I might hate parking, but I can do it without damaging anyone's stuff. It has put me in tears before though.

All that being said, living in LA is the worst place to be if you hate parking. There is never any parking anywhere you want to be it seems. Every once in awhile we'll get really lucky and find a nice close spot. I don't like parking garages either. They kind of freak me out, but some of them are okay. I hate having to pay to park too. I just miss the wide open spaces of parking lots. They're nice and open ready for me to park in.

The one thing that makes parking better for me is Eric. He's a great parker (I blame it on his maleness and good spatial reasoning skill), which is why I usually make him drive wherever we go. Even if I drive he usually parks if it's a tight spot. He's good at it and pretty good about calming my fears with parking too.

Overall though, I still hate parking, but I am getting better at with all the experience LA has provided for me.

Satan and Self-esteem

Something dawned on me last night. For a long time now I've been in pursuit of finding the root of low self-esteem across the board in women. I want to know the cause and how to fix it. It might not seem like a huge deal, but our self-esteem is tied directly into the life decisions we make; good or bad. Women have so much more value and strength than they can even imagine and yet it's diminished by feelings of inadequacy and weakness.

In talking to the other members of the Relief Society presidency in my ward. (These are two amazing women who have lived amazing lives and I learn so much from them all the time.) We were talking about the influence of Satan in our lives. We talked about how he knows our weaknesses and how to keep us off the path of doing what is good and righteous. He doesn't even have to make us sin to not be great, just distract us from doing what is good. As I kept thinking about it I thought about his influence in the lives of women.

I can't help but think he is not afraid of the power women can have to influence great change for the better. He must know something amazing about us that we don't know yet. He can distract us with low self-esteem (various ways, we all know it) and thoughts of how to be better. He can make us feel unworthy to accomplish great things even when it's totally within our right and capacity to do.

Satan has fooled us into thinking he only causes us to commit sin so we ignore his other influences in our life, but he is ever present in some way or another. Be strong and know you're worthwhile. God loves each of us. He especially loves his daughters. Don't forget that!

Obese Girls and Sex

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37344482/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/?ns=health-kids_and_parenting

This article is linking earlier incidences of sex, unprotected sex and multiple sexual partners to girls being overweight. I was very fortunate and didn't fall into any of those categories. I will say though how much I understand it. I would say if I hadn't been raised in a culture to value women and help us know the importance of waiting until marriage (and I know that doesn't work for everyone, but waiting at least for a first time until you're older than 13 makes sense to anyone) that I would have ended up like one of these statistics.

I know for me personally it was related directly to my insecurity that caused me to seek out male attention. Because I developed earlier than my friends I had assets I could show off to the boys to get attention. If there was a guy I liked in one of my classes I would intentionally wear tighter shirts or low cut tops to get him to talk to me and notice me. I was always hoping some guy would like me. For crying out loud I didn't even get asked to my senior prom and I probably only weighed 160lbs. Sure, I was overweight, but I wasn't gross.

Absolutely we need to help these girls be healthier, but we also need to let girls know they are good enough as they are. We need to make it less about appearance and more about who they are as a human being. They can be loved for their intelligence, wit, humor, compassion and various other talents.

It was the natural confidence I had about my intelligence that allowed me to rise above the challenges that could have befallen me. I'm blessed to have had the experiences I had and to have avoided some dangerous other experiences. Girls are so precious and we need to let them know that. Love your daughters, before someone else fools them into the wrong kind of love.

Women and Self Confidence

I’ve been thinking a lot about women and self-confidence. Those are just two things that seem to rarely occur together. In my 25 years I don’t think I’ve met too many women that are fully confident in who they are. The ones I have met are usually over 45 and even not all of the women I know over 45 are that confident in themselves. I just find this to be a real tragedy. As women we’re so beautiful, all of us. We don’t have to look the same to be beautiful. As women we’re not all interested in the same guy. Sure there are types of men that we’re all more likely to be drawn to, but we don’t all like the same thing. Men don’t all like the same flavor either. It’s our unique characteristics that set us all apart. We need to learn to appreciate our beauty for what it is and now what it isn’t.

Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

Besides our appearance us women have so much more to offer too. We’re capable of multiply things. For a long time I hated that I had no visible talents. I couldn’t sing, play an instrument or a sport. However, I’m very smart and very discerning about people. I can understand someone in just a few short minutes and that is a gift/talent that I’m very fortunate to have. Our talents/gifts work best together and not separate.

I just really want women to love themselves and know that they are just how God intended them to be. None of us are perfect in anyway, but our imperfections can work for us and become strengths if we allow them. I just ask you to look past your weaknesses and see your strengths. If you allow them to be your strengths will great over shadow your weaknesses. Go out and share your strengths with the world. By doing so you’ll be able to see your value and learn to really love yourself.