2 Questions

Again, I read another article . This time it's an article done for Oprah.com from a discussion with Steve Harvey. He lists out 5 questions women should ask the men they're dating to make sure their goals and plans much up. You can ask these questions at any point in the relationship to see that you're both still on the same page and make sure you're understanding each other the way it actually is. I think it's a good suggestion to make sure you're both on the same page. Hopefully though you know this information without having to ask. Communicate throughout your whole relationship so you know what's going on and that nothing is going to suddenly surprise you.

I have two questions of my own that I think every woman should ask a potential husband. Perhaps don't say this too early on in the relationship, but don't be afraid to ask. Here they are:

1. Are you gay?
2. Are you addicted to pornography?

People usually laugh when I tell them to ask these questions. They think it's silly to ask a guy these questions, because of course you'd know if you spent lots of time with him before he proposed. Well, that is most likely true, but when there is a lot of shame (especially in religious communities) about those two things that guys might lie to themselves or just simply try to hide it. You don't want to get married and then discover during or after the honeymoon that he's got a whole bag of other issues you didn't know about. I've also had several friends get married and within a year it fell apart because of at least one of those issues.

Of course, if you get a yes to either of those answers then you have to decide how you'll proceed or if you need some sort of of ocunseling. Neither of those is an absolute destroyer of your relationship if you go into it knowing the situation. You just don't want to be deceived.