So, I'm a Mormon Woman. A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That's who I am and I heard something really interesting last night while having dinner with friends. He said that when people meet a real Mormon and get to know us their view of the church generally improves. There are just a few categories where that is not true, meaning that the person's opinion actually decreases after they get to know us. The main area where their opinion lessens is their view of how the church treats women.
I'm actually really bothered by this. I can understand how some people might think things are a bit backwards and what not, but it really does make so much sense to me. And never in the church, or by any church policy have I felt less important or less loved than a boy. If anything the church reveres women and treats them with the utmost respect and kindness. I am free to be the woman I want to be and do what I want to do. I'm not exactly sure which specific practice, experience or what not that people see that makes them not like the church's interaction with women so I will refrain from defending any of it. I am however a tiny bit curious what people think.
Suicide
13 years ago
10 comments:
I'll bite but I'm keeping myself anonymous so I don't hurt my standing with the church:
Inequalities:
-Men can be sealed to multiple women (my Sunday school teacher is sealed to both his passed-away wife and his current one) however women would have to unseal from their deceased spouse should they choose to seal to a new living one.
-Women are systematically discouraged from talking about Heavenly Mother.
-Women are barred from the priesthood.
-The church has a notorious dislike of feminists.
There are more things that bother me, specific situations with real women that have resulted in ex-communications and whatnot, and other temple-ritual details that are upsetting to me, but I'm at work and can't get into detail right now.
The detail about multiple sealing is the one that bothers me the most.
Interesting... I can see throwawaylds' point of view. But according to the 2010 census the are in fact more females then males. It has been that way for quite a few years now. So just looking at it logistically if you want everyone to receive the temple blessings then some men are going to have to have more then one wife. I don't think this is because they favor the men it is because there just are not as many of them. While doing Genealogy I had family come across and in one journal of a Grandmother she said that there was nearly twice as many Mormon men as women that made it. So in order for them all to be taken care of and receive those blessings some men were asked to take a 2nd wife. It was like .5% of men that were asked.
The whole priesthood thing I find lame because if I had it I could not use it on myself anyway. If my husband has it I have free access to it anytime. But he has to call up others. So I don't feel like that is even an issue. With me.
I would consider myself a feminist. I work outside the home and am very pro woman's rights. I have even been the main income while my husband has been a stay at home dad. But I don't feel like the church is the one holding me back. I have never had a problem with the principals the church has taught. Now in practice since people are not perfect I have had my run in with people who will say stupid things to me but that is because they do not understand the the true meaning of what is being taught.
I feel like the church knows and understands that there are difference between men and women. I also feel like we can switch who does what in the home and work. I also feel like I am just a capable of doing work that men do. I have held many "Manly" kids of jobs. Road construction, mining, rebuilding an engine. But there is still a biological difference between men and women and the church is trying to bring out the best qualities in us all!
Thanks for both of your comments. I really do appreciate it. However, this was not an attempt to get memembers to air their grievances of the church, but to enlighten myself on what non-members thought.
Throwawaylds, I would suggest if you have such issues with the church then you should prayerfully study and pray about those issues. Talk to your bishop or RS President to help you understand the things that don't sound quite right to you, like the things The Peterson's have explained. It only hurts you to walk around with anger against church practices.
As a member of the Mormon church, you are already so brainwashed and programmed to believe what you’re told that you’d never admit the church is sexist, even if your rational thoughts led you to that belief.
Men get the priesthood and women are just so spiritual and great and maternal that they don’t need it! What a perfect example of condescension. Let’s throw a bunch of complimentary statements at the female members so they don’t even notice they’re being oppressed! Women, you are so great at birthing our future hoards of believers! Keep on doing that, and make me a casserole while you’re at it!
And let’s not forget the Equal Rights Amendment. Terrified that women might finally realize how men completely control them, the church banned together to fight the horrifying falsehood of women being equal to men:
“The same fears of anti-ERA opponents prompted Mormon Church leaders to join their financial resources, promotional skills and broad network of members to the anti-ERA movement. In 1976, church leaders described ERA as "a moral issue with many disturbing ramifications for women and for the family as individual members as a whole." President Spencer Kimball declared it "would strike at the family, humankind's basic institution."
http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2005/MormonChurchAndERA_Aug-05.html
Why would it strike at the family? Because women would finally realize that having babies and babying their fat husbands would no longer be their only option. They could work, go to school, not have children if they so desired! They’d have endless opportunities and Mormon men would be dinner-less and forced to change diapers.
And once Mormon men reach the afterlife, they get to (finally!) have multiple wives again:
“Church Apostle Bruce R. McConkie stated: "Obviously the holy practice (of polygamy) will commence again after the Second Coming of the Son of Man and the ushering in of the millennium." (Mormon Doctrine, 1966 edition)”
http://www.i4m.com/think/polygamy/polygamy_summary.htm
So women are basically silent, obedient vessels for children, to propagate the Mormon species and take care of all the needs of Mormon men.
Seems pretty sexist to me.
This was also not intended to be a place to bash the church. YOU, FormerMormon can feel and judge as much as you want, but you are incorrect in so many ways.
For the record, no one has ever tried to silence me, nor should they dare. I'm college educated and infertile. So the fact that I enjoy nuturing my husband and making casseroles does not mean I'm just silently letting the men in my life suck the soul out of me.
What people often fail to realize about women in the church is that they have rights and choices. Just because a woman chooses to have 5 kids and stay home making casseroles does not mean that she doesn't want to do it. It is far more offensive and judgmental to Mormon women for people to assume that their life choices are inadequate because they don't work outside the home. Cooking, cleaning, teaching and nurturing a family is absolutely important, even at times more so than what any person does outside their home.
Please take your hate and go elsewhere. I will not be silence on what I believe, nor will I debate each point you gave even though I have a response to all of it. But one last question, anyone ever think that maybe some if not a majority of Mormon women don't want to bare the responsibility of the priesthood. Why is everyone so consumed with power?
Thanks for your testimony Tiffany. I appreciate what you have to say about this tricky subject.
As a female member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I went through a period of self discovery a few years ago. There were things that bothered me as far as "equality" goes. I found my own answers through prayer, and personal introspection. I also take the opportunity to ask temple workers when I have a question on something specific. I actually had the same question as throwawaylds on multiple sealings for men vs women so I asked one of the temple sealers after I had done a session. He actually told me that the church's stance on multiple sealings is the same for men and women. That there is the same expectation regardless of gender and that the process is the same for either to be sealed to another spouse, because I was under the same misconception.
Regardless, I my thought is that the negative feelings toward the treatment of the women in the church always comes from a lack of understanding. The scriptures say that Satan is the father of lies and that any no feeling of fear or anything dark comes from our Heavenly Father. Anger is just a manifestation of fear, so clearly it is not from God. If there are fears or negative feelings, I'd urge those people to take the opportunity to seek enlightenment and understanding from our Heavenly Father, or from trusted church leaders. Being open with our feelings is the only way we are going to find peace and understand why things are as they are. :)
The temple makes it clear that the priesthood is not meant just for men.
Thanks Jimbo! Neither the man nor the woman can be saved without the other. To each is given certain blessings and responsibilities.
From my non religious perspective any set up which demands a woman to obey a man values men more highly than women. There is so much more but I will leave it there.
Well, Ellesar, I would probably agree with you. Fortunately, I don't ever remember promising to "obey" my husband. I don't think that happened and if it did it was with conditions on his part. Men are repeatedly counseled to love and listen to their wives. Mormon Men are taught to treat their wives with respect and love. If men miss that message, that's on them, not the church.
Post a Comment