Crazy?!?

There is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. We women are often called crazy when we get emotional about things. In history it was even referred to hysteria, which is rooted in the Latin and Greek words for uterus. This term has now been disavowed as being only a problem for women. Anyone with or without a uterus can suffer from hysteria. Yet, women are still called crazy if they get emotional. It’s truly not fair or right.

When we tell women and especially young girls that they’re “acting crazy” or their feelings are “crazy” we communicate to them that they are acting inappropriately and that their feelings are not normal. Usually these comments come from males. The problem here is not that women are crazy, but they express themselves differently. Men have just as many emotions, but it’s not typically in their nature to talk about them. So for men to hear about them can overwhelm them. They are often simpler in how they deal with things so they don’t talk so much about them. On the other side, many women need to talk about their emotional extremes. In talking about the highs and lows women often become animated or increase in volume, which is natural but can come across as excessive. It is not but just a natural reaction.

Unless we want women to continue to be insecure and afraid of who we are we need to allow them to be themselves, emotions and all. Recently I had the experience of talking to a woman about her relationship. She had been dating a guy for a little while and on a recent date had brought his friend to the movies on their date with him. He excused it because his buddy was just in town visiting, but he’d never cleared it with her first. I told her to end it. Others started to argue that she just needed to relax and not worry. I settled on her talking to him about it and seeing where they are with things. Another male she knew chimed in and said essentially for her to not be too dramatic if she insisted on talking to him. He was taking the side of the man who had disrespected his girlfriend and basically said, “Don’t react emotionally, just let this guy do whatever.” However, I do not subscribe to such beliefs. You need to communicate while dating what your expectations are so you can build a healthy relationship if you hope to marry one day.   Well, it turned out a week later when she took him a gift for Christmas that he broke up with her. So, in the end, she was right to not trust his behavior, but he could have strung her along a lot longer if she’d never said or done anything.

We as women have the power with in ourselves to fight back against this whole idea that we’re just crazy and overwhelming emotional. We just have to stand up for ourselves. We cannot apologize for every time we have an emotional reaction. It’s who we are and it’s beautiful. If we are who we are and expect men to accept us as such then we should just be ourselves without fear or insecurity that someone won’t like us. If they don’t like us, that is truly their problem and not ours. The bible commands us to love everyone and not to be loved by everyone.

I want to make it clear that I never changed myself to attract my husband. He loved and loves me as I am. I catch him in moments where he’s trying to calm or lessen my emotions but I remind him that it’s just me and it’s okay for me to feel this way. Usually it’s just a reminder that even if I don’t express my feelings out loud they are still there. He is awesome at listening to me and trying very much to understand where I’m coming from. I’m truly blessed!