Feminism: Pro or Con?

So, perhaps as a woman I should not put this in print, but I’m somewhat of an anti-feminist. Sure, I very much appreciate their hard work so that I can vote and go to college. I’m happy to be able to work and help support my family. Those are all great things, but I’m not convinced the side effects are worth it. Years ago I even wrote a paper about how the rate of divorce increased at the same time as the feminist movement really picked up speed in the middle of the 20th century. More specifically though feminism is emasculating men and masculinizing women. This plays a huge part into how our relationships work. The reason we’re attracted to each other is because we’re different, not the same. We’re meant to complement one another, not compete with each other. God created us all as equals with an important purpose in His plan. We each have our own roles to play, but with feminism we, as simple mortals, are recreating our roles.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m truly grateful to be able to have an education and my own choice to determine my life. However, we need to let men be men and us women need to work harder at being feminine women. They all worked hard to progress us as women, but now all we’re doing is saying we want to be just like men. That’s counter productive. Let’s use our God-given assets as women and impower that. We’re only hurting ourselves by saying we were never good enough as we were. We want more, we want to be men. Let’s remember who we are and be the best at that and not force ourselves in some other direction.

Okay, I know someone is going to disagree with me. That’s fine. Just please be nice and not rude in your attempts to criticize me.

Kids who self-injure

I might be married to a man with an aspiring film career, but I have interests and passions of my own. I am absolutely passionate about people and what makes them who they are. I studied psychology in college and was in love with everything I learned; even some of the darker sadder stuff. It really just opens up your world and helps you to learn to love every kind of person.

An article I read yesterday reminded me of this love and passion that I have inside. In this article it talks about children who self-injure and some of the reasons they explain why they do it. The basic understanding standing is the children use the physical pain to help them release and moderate internal/emotional pain. Psychologists don't know what causes children to start to self-injure or even how to help them to make it stop.

I remember volunteering in a state mental hospital for one of my university courses. I worked in a girls' classroom about once a week. I usually worked with this one girl, we'll call her Patti. She was a sweet girl, but very slow. I would help her with her homework each time I was there, but I always had to read her the material and then basically show her where the answer was. Part of me was angry that the system was failing her. She couldn't possibly be learning because no one was pushing her. Then one day one of the techs or teachers was talking to me about how her medication slowed her down and made a lot of things hard for her to do. I finally understood that she wasn't slow because no one was trying anything, but because the medicine to treat her problems were that intense. A little while after that conversation I was talking to Patti about goals she had (it was part of an assignment) and she mentioned one goal that totally surprised me. She said to me that her goal was to stop hurting herself. My mind reeled. Being just a college student with no clinical training I sure didn't think that could be why she was in there from the beginning. Frankly I didn't think much of their diagnoses. It wasn't why I was there. But the moment I heard that my heart broke for her. I couldn't imagine having so much pain in my life that I'd harm myself to feel better. It was terrible that something to severe was happening in her life, even though to this day I still don't know what that is.

Another story I heard about a girl who self-injured will absolutely break your heart. This was many decades ago that this story took place. We’ll call her Jenni. My teacher met her when she came into a state hospital because she was at risk of taking her own life. She was a cutter. She had scars on top of other scars from cutting. She was on permanent suicide watch. My teacher made some comment to a doctor about how bad could her life really be that she would do so much damage to herself and be considering suicide. The doctor then gave him her file and told him to read it. He did and what he found out will make anyone with a heart cringe. From the time she was a very little girl her mother had sold her for drugs. She had been used and abused by so many people, even her own mother, from a very young age. Knowing that about her makes sense, because I don’t know that any of us would want to live anymore if that had happened to us.

I know this is a long post, but I felt that it was important to discuss and to include examples. This is important to bring out because mental illness is a very widespread problem and it often gets little recognition or support. There are mental illnesses that can lead teenagers and even children to die by their own hand. Everything from depression, to anxiety to eating disorders. They are all so dangerous, but can be helped. We shouldn’t be afraid of the reputation given to mental illness. We shouldn’t look down on it. It is not something that can be helped or even necessarily prevented. We don’t get angry when someone gets cancer or has a heart attack. In my opinion mental illness should be treated like cancer. It is a disease that we should vigorously fight with the right treatments. It’s time to put on your game face and attack the enemy; not run away in fear.

American Pride Cycle

So, I read an article last week. Now, I can't seem to find it. Basically it was describing how no democracy has lasted much more than 200 years. Eventually they all destroy themselves. They become large and arrogant and declare wars they cannot sustain. If you know the article I'm talking about and you have a link, please let me know so I can post it. Thanks!

The reason this article caught my eye was how simply it described America in the pride cycle. If you've ever read the Book of Mormon you know exactly how this cycle works and we are not in a good place on that cycle. Our society is about to implode and we'll all pay the consequences for it. We are a prideful people and it is now time we turn to God to get us out of the mess we have created for ourselves.

I apologize if this comes off as alarmist, but now is the time for alarm, not when the crisis is upon us. Let me know your thoughts and if you think we're in a better place than I do.

Addendum

I don't think I made it clear why I think it's important to be childlike. I said it because I believe that when we're childlike we more closely resemble the person God wants us to be. When we act "mature" and adultlike we more closely resemble the person we want to be. And it is my firm belief that it is through God and His Son, Jesus Christ that we are saved. So, it is better to be the versions they know is best than just what we think is best.

I know what it is to be childlike

Growing up in the church (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) there was always talk about being childlike. I’m not sure where the reference is, but there is scripture telling us to be childlike. This was not to be interpreted as childish. It was not a command to never grow up and be irresponsible. Frankly, in my youth I had no clue what it meant. All I wanted then was to grow up and be an adult. I was growing closer and closer to the time where I would shred my childlike qualities and just be mature and responsible all the time.

As I grew older I began to realize some qualities of a child that would help me be a better person. Being able to listen and obey would help make me a better employee. Being imaginative would help me think outside the box in my problem solving. Being playful would help me enjoy life even when it was hard.

Still, it wasn’t until I moved to Los Angeles that I really learned what was so powerful and great about being childlike. In LA if you’re child like at all you’re looked down on as being naïve and insignificant. They’d rather be a grown up and do reckless things. For them drinking, partying and one night stands are grown up and a natural part of life. Children don’t need to drink to be free or enjoy time with their friends. No substance is necessary for that; they’re just born to be honest and have a good time. They’re not yet afraid to be themselves. Kids are always at a party. Their lives are a reason to celebrate and there is no need for a special occasion. They are free to meet new people when ever the occasion arises. They will talk to whoever they can whenever they can. There are no social mores for them. They sure as heck don’t have one night stands and not just because they don’t have sex. If they “hook-up” with a new friend at the grocery store those two are friends every time they see each other in the future. They want to spend time together in the future. If it was a good time once then it will be a good time again.

The most childlike quality you can have in my opinion is honesty. They are honest with who they are, what they want and what they like. They don’t hide things from us like we do from each other.

The more time I spend at Disneyland the more time I realize just how much I am childlike. The people I work with despise Disneyland. One guy even said he’d rather go to a strip club (gross!) than to Disneyland. The park fulfills my creativity, my dreams and the place I can just be happy to be alive again.

If not through Disneyland we can all strive to be more childlike in our lives. We can reach out to others and try to be more honest with others.

Rich Kids = Wealth of Problems

So, I just read this photo-journal article. It was just showing all these crimes that had been committed by children who had grown up in wealthy families. The article talks about the crotch bomber, John Hinkcley Jr., the Menendez brothers, and even Osama bin Laden. In it's own way the article makes a link between priviledged childhood and a criminal adulthood.

I suppose that raises the question of whether or not their is a causal link or not. Are kids from middle class or even poor families just as likely to commit these crimes. Does the degree of criminal behavior change as you increase or decrease the amount of access a child has to money and possesions. Are their ways for wealthy parents to avoid these risks with their children?

I have some of my own ideas, but I think these questions should absolutely be looked into. In my opinion there is a degree of boredom and the inability to be satiated that can drive young adults to do these things and live lives of crime. The Loeb brothers in the article for example. First, they lacked the necessary love and affection we all need as humans. Second, they had everything they could want. So, in that theory they should have never been bored. However, when everything is available or you can get it, those things become boring. The things you can't have or do become very exciting. Murder is about control, which they didn't really have over their lives, so they murdered because it was something they weren't allowed to do and at the very least it would be interesting. (Just my opionion, I don't know anything about them for sure.)

Of course, not all rich spoiled kids will be criminals. Just look at the Hilton family; those kids haven't killed anyone, yet. However, they are wreckless and there have been a number of DUIs in that family. There are a lot of risks associated with wealth, especially when parents allow posessions to parent their children.

This is just a note to parents and a plea for more research to be done. This is not a good sign for our society and it couldn't hurt to learn how to stop the trend.

My dad is famous now!

just want to give a little shout out to my dad. He's kind of famous now. He lives in Washington and is a huge hockey fan. He follows the local WHL team religiously. He even has season tickets now that he doesn't have kids at home to pay for. For all the years I can remember it was a family tradition for us to go to the game against our rivals on New Year's Eve. It was so much fun and always a great game. Just last night my dad was caught candidly showing his enthusiasm for the team and for the night's celebrations. You can check out the picture with him here or you can just see it below.