Arrogance and my First Bar

Okay, so I wanted to apologize for my slightly arrogant post yesterday. I hope no one read it and thought I was super arrogant for my belief in being able to help people. By no means do I believe I'm the only person who can help others or that I'm superior at it. I just love people; it's a strange hobby, but it's the one I got. Anyway, my greatest apologies for anyone I might have offended.

Now, about the bar. I went to one in downtown Hollywood last night. How weird is that? It was a get together for one of Eric's internships. It took us forever to find parking. Then, once we get there it was so loud and crowded. (Fortunately, you can't smoke indoors in California so we could at least breath in there.) We weren't quite sure who everyone was even. We talked with some people and met a few more. We probably stayed for about 30-45 minutes. Then, we just felt weird not drinking and standing around. So, we said our good-byes and left. Finally, we found our way out of town and headed home. We wanted to try PinkBerry, but we couldn't find one near us. On our way home though, Eric quickly exited the freeway and I was confused until I saw In-N-Out. Then, I knew he wanted a neopolitan shake (it's on the secret menu). He ordered two and we had a delicious ride home. Overall, it was a fun night with some new experiences.

Being Needed

So, last night I was thinking a lot about working and what not. I was thinking because I had two interviews today. (They went really well, but we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.) I realized last night that one of the things I need and have been missing is interaction with other people. I've stayed home alone all day, everyday this week. It just gets so lonely sometimes, especially for me. I don't just want interaction, I need interaction.

In a further pondering, spiritual moment I had last night I realized further that I need to help people. I can't just talk about the weather with them. I need to know about their lives, what problems they're having and how I can help them. I don't know why I, out of all the people that have and will ever exist, was given the ability to talk to people and understand them to the point of being able to make a difference. However, not knowing why this is my gift does not absolve me from the responsibility and the blessing. I want to help others and bless their lives. I'm greatly satisfied knowing that I have helped someone. I'm probably more satisfied (and thus arrogant) than I should be.

In realizing this I know that I need a job soon to fulfill this need I have to interact with lots of different people, but also to help them. I may not be able to help people as much in my work, but I know there are other ways. I could get involved with community service or non-profit groups. Even easier would be to get involved at church and meet more people and fill the gap where I am needed. I just know in my heart that I am needed somewhere for someone and it's driving me crazy not knowing where to go next.

To be employed or not to be

So, we've been in our apartment for about 2.5 weeks now. It's nice and it's starting to get cozier. The day after we moved in I started a job working in an accounting office. I was helping them reorganize everything (and I do mean everything). I've never sweated so much in heels before. After about a week of doing all sorts of filing and organizing they had me start to learn some actual office type work that they do there. It was getting better and I was liking it more. Oh, important thing to note is that this job was supposed to be temp-to-hire. I was working hard and doing really well compared to other people they'd had in there. I figured I was for sure going to get hired on in a few weeks. However, that's not how it happened. They decided they needed an actual accountant in there to help run the business. (Who would have guessed that an accounting office needed an accountant?) So, they hired someone else and let me go. It's not like I was fired because I was never officially hired, but it still wasn't good news.

The funny thing about it all was that I never felt like it was the job for me. It was just a means to a financial end. Eric and I have an apartment and bills that need to be paid. Fortunately, those 7 days worth of work are going to pay our bills for this month. Rent will come out of savings, but we're lucky to have that. It's only been a week without a job, but it feels like forever. Eric is looking for weekend work too. I'm just trying to not feel desperate.

I have to keep reminding myself that after I was told that I wouldn't be working for that company anymore I had a few moments of complete despair and fear about our finances. But quickly after that I felt reassured and confident that things would work out. The further it gets from that feeling the harder it is to remember it, but I know that somehow it is all going to work out. The right job is out there for me, but it may take some time to find it. I'm just trying to have faith and take those steps that will lead me in the right direction for employment. Who knows where it will be? I sure don't.

Sacrifice

So, I kind of realized at the temple yesterday that we need to wait on an apartment as a sacrifice. (I kind of simplified this for the sake of not explaining it all, so just go with me on this.) I'm not sure what we're sacrificing for, but I know there is a reason. The definition of sacrifice is to give up one thing for something better. The thing we give up is usually something we really want or even need. Eric and I really want and even need a place to live. However, we feel strongly that we should just wait and sacrifice what we want now for something better to come along.

The good news is that something good might be coming along sooner than we originally thought. Eric met a guy at church today that manages an apartment complex and he happens to have an apartment available to rent in the right price range for us. The guy also has a fridge that he's trying to get rid of that we could probably have. It's also in our friends' ward and stuff. Overall, it sounds like a good deal. We'll go check it out tomorrow and see if we like it and stuff. Maybe this is the answer, maybe it's not. I'm just trying to have patience and not give in as soon as we think we've found a place. I'll keep you all updated.

Homeless!

So, currently we are feeling quite homeless. We are staying with my grandparents, but they're about 1.5-2 hours out of the area we want to live and work. So, when we're in that area we feel homeless. The trouble is, we aren't finding what we want or need. As we've been praying about what we need to do we get the strong impression we need to wait. Do you know how frustrating that is? We just want to start our lives down there, but we can't quite yet. Right now I'm working on faith and patience until it is the right time for us to get a place. We don't know when it will all turn around, but we know it will. Life is crazy and out of our control. The best we can do is follow the Spirit and have faith it will all work out accordinly.

Los Angeles and Apartments

So, we've spent quite a lot of time down in the L.A. area lately. It'll be so nice once we actually live there and don't have to commute or impose on our friends' places anymore. It's been strange though, we've looked at several decent, acceptable places, but for some reason we don't feel anything towards them. As Eric and I were out looking at places yesterday we were talking about this feeling of "stupor" about the whole thing. We just felt like it wasn't the right time for us to find a place. We don't know why it is the way it is, but we have that it'll work out.

In the mean time I've been applying for different jobs. I'm actually applying for apartment manager jobs so that we can have a free place to live, but we'll see if any of those pan out. I've applied for a few other jobs as well working in different offices. The right job will come along, but we'll see if I ever get an interview. Eric is doing really well with his career goals. He's had a couple of meetings and interviews. He was actually an "executive visitor" on the Warner Bros. lot yesterday. He has more interviews scheduled for next week as well. If only they weren't all internships and he could get paid. Life is scary here without money. It's already going so fast!

Alright, that's about it for now. I'll do my best to keep you all posted. Thanks for all of our prayers and support. We can use it all right now.

Gas and Los Angeles

Sorry it's been so long since I've written anything. Eric and I have been working on a film this month. Well, we were only on set for like 2.5 weeks, but then we had to recover. It's a film about scout camp and it was super fun. There were 7 main boys and I just fell in love with all of them. I hope that all their careers will take off. I'm excited to see them succeed in life; once they graduate high school that is.

Anyway, we have much bigger news right now. We are finally moving to the Los Angeles area. We'll look into Burbank any some other near-by cities. We're so excited and a little bit scared. We're going to stay with my grandparents (they live about 1.5 - 2 hours away from L.A.) and visit family at first, then we'll look into places to live and work. We want a bit of vacation before we have to do loads of work and never get a day off again. We might even go to Disneyland. We're very excited! Oh yeah, we're leaving in 4 days too. I can't believe how soon it is. Eric has an interview in about 2 weeks. He will hopefully have a job very soon.

In other, funnier news: gas was spilled in the back of our van. Well, it wasn't a ton, just a slow leak that made our car reek. We spent a lot of yesterday scrubbing the carpet and sucking it up with a carpet vacuum. It's smelling tons better already. We were able to leave the windows down last night so hopefully it's aired out now. I haven't been out there yet today, but I'll let you know how it goes. It made for a really awful weekend. Everything just reeked of gas and I didn't like it at all. So, don't ever spill gas on any carpet you care about keeping around. It's no fun to clean up.