Film Widow

Pissing Marines

2012-01-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

So, there are some sad Marines in the news these days. There is a viral video on Youtube of them urinating on dead Afghans believed to be members of the Taliban. I find this disgusting because of the lack it shows for human life. I find the idea of getting the revenge on anyone, even an enemy to be deplorable. The position these Marines are in is also disgusting, but maybe not for the reasons you might think.

As it turns out I'm not mad at these Marines for what they did. They are trained to view the enemy, whoever that is, as less than human. These are simply targets for them. Military personnel are praised for their aim and accuracy. They are encouraged to use lethal force rather than risk their own lives and country. Before joining the military it's very possible these guys would have never done this or even thought they were capable of it. But these are broken and redesigned men. Trained in the tactics of war.

During boot camp we break them down. Those drill sergeants don't scream at them to encourage them in a last push-up, but to break down who they are as a person, so that in time they can rebuild them into the military machines they need to be. We can't expect them to make the same rational choices as we would sitting at home watching this on our computers or on the news. We wouldn't expect someone who has been in an abusive marriage to make the same decisions about family that someone in a healthy marriage would make. Same goes for a homeless person and CEO. Different situations in life change us.

And these guys haven't just been through training. They've been in an active war zone. They have likely seen people die by explosion, they have seen children used in acts of war, they have been separated from loved ones, all that is human about them is stripped away. They are used like machines.

What I'm saying is, these guys weren't in their "right"minds when this was done, most likely. They shouldn't have done it, but they did. This is the time to cut them a little slack. We can't expect everyone to be able to mentally hold it all together. They have to numb themselves to the emotional trauma they experience everyday on the battlefield. Let's just stop hating and be more compassionate to who they are and what they're going though.

Mormon Women

2011-10-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, I'm a Mormon Woman. A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That's who I am and I heard something really interesting last night while having dinner with friends. He said that when people meet a real Mormon and get to know us their view of the church generally improves. There are just a few categories where that is not true, meaning that the person's opinion actually decreases after they get to know us. The main area where their opinion lessens is their view of how the church treats women.

I'm actually really bothered by this. I can understand how some people might think things are a bit backwards and what not, but it really does make so much sense to me. And never in the church, or by any church policy have I felt less important or less loved than a boy. If anything the church reveres women and treats them with the utmost respect and kindness. I am free to be the woman I want to be and do what I want to do. I'm not exactly sure which specific practice, experience or what not that people see that makes them not like the church's interaction with women so I will refrain from defending any of it. I am however a tiny bit curious what people think.

TSA Searching Children

2011-09-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is not likely to go where you want it to go. That's okay with me. Anway, I read a tweet this morning that went something like this: The TSA just patted my child and then swabbed his hands for bomb residue. What is wrong with our country?" Well, I can tell you what is wrong with our country, sadly, there are bad people out there that want to attack us and other innocent people.

You can't even just say, well I'm white so clearly it's not me because they are recruiting everyone, even white people. I know many don't like the patting down of children, but at the end of the day I see no major problem with it. Here is why:

Children are poked and prodded by us on a regular basis. We even pat and inspect diapers to check for poopies or to see if they've peed. We hand babies off to strangers (doctors, nurses, family members the baby has never met, etc.) all of the time, so a TSA employee isn't so weird to them. Nothing that is happening to them is that weird especially if you're right there with them watching everything.
Having a child's hands swabbed for bomb residue might not be a bad idea because kids put their hands all over everything you have, so if you have a bomb it's very possible the kid touched it.
If we stop checking children then suicide bombers may very likely use their own children to carry bombs, knives, and other weapons onto planes. If they believe in receiving eternal glory for their own martyrdom, why wouldn't it be good for their kids too?

A few moments of inconvenience for me is worth my overall safety. Anyone who doesn't want to get checked out for overall safety doesn't need to fly that bad then. It's a fact of life so let's deal with it. If you have ways to improve airport security then write a letter to TSA instead of just whining about how invasive the checks are. It could be a lot worse.

Now, please let me know what you think, but let's be nice about it.

Guy movies vs. Chick Movies

2011-05-31T11:00:00.000-07:00

So, this is something I've thought a lot about before, but today it really came to the front of my mind. Why is it that us ladies always end up seeing the guy movie out when we really want to see a new "chick" film?

Somehow we give in and agree to see our boyfriend's/husband's/brother's/father's choice of movie instead. Even if we hate scary movies or excessive violence we still end up at those movies when all we really want to see is a cute couple fall in love.

Sure, because that's what our guy wants we give in and go. But why doesn't he ever give in to what we want to see? It seems to me that there is a disproportionate amount of girls giving into movies they don't want to see and rarely the other way around unless it's a birthday present.

I'm not complaining too much about my situation because my husband will see pretty much anything and I try to be reasonable about my requests, but still it can be hard. I see a lot of my friends have similar struggles. Guys need to suck it up and see a cute couple hold hands and kiss, it can't be any worse than girls sitting in a theater watching bodies get blown up. We all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes.

And, guys, if it's that mushy just cover your eyes and plug your ears like I do with excessive violence.

Organized Crime Bosses

2011-05-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

So, maybe I'm out of line, but that's okay with me. First, I love mobster movies. I love the power and control these men have and the way they still remain so vulnerable to the other mob bosses powers. It's such an interesting play of characters that I totally get into. (Side note: I am not associated with an organized crime family in any way. I avoid being that vulnerable at all costs.)

Anyway, after hearing about the death of Osama bin Laden it kind of reminded me of organized crimes. President Obama actually ordered the killing of Osama bin Laden. This was a "kill operation". (MSNBC Article) This was carried out by a super elite team of trained military officers that only operates on very high ranking leaders commands, the president ordered this mission. He didn't want to just talk to Osama, he wanted him dead. I think most of the world is okay with that since Osama bin Laden is a well known villain.

I just thought last night as so many people feel relief over this that the president ordered a hit on another human life. Sure, it was against a bad guy, but still. I'm sure the decision was easy and logical, but it's kind of creepy to have to live with that. I just think it's an interesting way to consider it as an organized crime situation. Take it for what it's worth.

What I Want to be When I Grow Up

2011-04-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

So, I've come to some realizations lately. Things I always knew, but didn't know I knew maybe. Well anyway. So, lately if I've whined about my job or talked about looking elsewhere, people have asked me, "Well, what do you want to do?" "What kind of career do you want to have?" The only answer I can come to with that is that I don't really want a career. I want to be a stay at home mom. I know that will be a ton of work in and of itself, but it's still what I want, even if I have to work a little on the side to help pay the bills. I want to be a mom and do things on my terms, and just take care of my kids and my husband. Caring for others that I love is the only thing I've really enjoyed in life. I'm good at many things, but this is what I want to be the best at. It's hard when you've been trying to have a family for over five years, but I'm not giving up just yet. My time will come.

Alright, I just had to get this out. There is no real reason for me to share this other than because I wanted to express what so often confuses people about me. This is me and this is who I want to be.

Is she hot??? No really, is she?

2011-03-01T12:00:00.000-08:00

So, I noticed this blog article some friends shared on Facebook this morning. It was completely fascinating about the role men people in the low self-worth women carry around with them. Read it! It might open your eyes to some things you didn't realize about yourself and how we can all do a bit more to make it better.

I'm so blessed to have a great and patient husband. He never makes me feel worthless or wants me to feel inadequate the way I am. I know I'm not perfect, but he's okay with that and loves me anyway. After over 5 years of marriage my perspective of myself has shifted to a better place. I'm still insecure and doubt my value constantly, but I'm doing much better now.

I do have one fatal flaw though. I pick out really obscenely attractive women and then ask my husband if he thinks she's hot. When he refuses to answer or says no I keep pushing him. I want him to say she is just to reinforce my own belief that I'm not good enough. Rarely will he ever even say another woman is attractive. I find this an incredibly supportive behavior of his. I on the other hand am horribly dangerous to my own worth.

I participate in these self-fulfilling prophecies because I don't think I'm worth being loved or cared for by someone so wonderful. I don't think I'm easy enough to live with or put up with. I feel as though if I'm not making him happy 100% of the time I'm not enough of a woman. This isn't true, it's impossible.

Just think about what you do in your own lives to destroy your own worth and stop doing it. Men who make you think that way about yourself aren't worth your time or attention.

Post Oscars Celebrity Encounter

2011-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

So, last night we went to our local grocery store to pick up a few things. Near the end of our little trip we saw Josh Cooke. He plays Ben Coles on the TV show Better With You. This is just happens to be one of our new favorite shows. I was a little giddy and excited to be seeing a celebrity in real life. He was totally dressed down. He looked like he'd just come from a game of pick-up basketball or something. His fiance looked fantastic though. They were cute.

I was just surprised to be more starstruck by him than the huge celebrities I had just seen at the Oscars. It was just strange seeing some one out of the blue I guess rather than at the Oscars where I expected them to be.

Life in LA sure is interesting!

The Oscar's: The Year the UK Won

2011-02-28T09:33:00.000-08:00

I'm only joking about the UK, well sort of. Being in the press room we see all of the winners come through and a large number of them were British. They have lots to be proud of across the pond. They are very talented and creative. They did some amazing things and deserve all of the acclaim they received last night.

Okay, for those of you who want to know what I do there. Well, the company I work for is in charge of all the audio/visual elements of the press room. This is where all the press sit to hopefully have the chance to ask the winners a question at the end of the night. Let me list for you some of the interesting things I saw and heard.

Christian Bale said something I found totally hilarious. He was talking about all the body transformations he goes through for the roles he takes. He said about his role in the fighter, "Have you ever seen a fat crack addict?" I thought it was a great line.
Then later while I was waiting to hand my mic to a reporter I suddenly heard a guy next to me start talking loudly. Turns out he was going live on the radio right there from the press room. It was odd and cool at the same time.
Natalie Portman was super cute and hardly looked pregnant in her dress. However, she kept holding her statue under her pregnant belly pulling her dress tightly under the belly. It was so cute. She is tiny, but adorable.
At the end of the evening Tom Hooper came in after winning for best director of "The King's Speech" which is an amazing movie. I know it's rated-R, but really this is the least offensive rated-R movie I've ever seen. Less offensive and more hopeful than many PG movies I've ever seen. Anyway, there was a military reporter there and he talked about how the King overcame a physical problem in this movie. And he asked Mr. Hooper what troops in the field could take from this movie. He responded that the movie was about friendship (between the king and his speech therapist) and that it was through their friendship that the king was able to get better. He said that the troops should turn to their friends to find the strength to get better. It was of course much more eloquent, but it really touched me the way he said things.
Finally, a special moment for me. The evening was over, I had gone to the rest room and as I was leaving I passed Baz Bamigboye, a UK reporter. He said to me, "Thanks for everything." This after I had provided him with a mic for his final question. He also happens to be the reporter Kate Winslet ran to and hugged while I was standing right next to him 2 years ago. Very special moments indeed.

Okay, so I think that about sums it up. Below are some pictures of Eric and I there together. They provided him with a tux for the evening. Very cool!

This is him in his tux. So cute huh? He looked even better in person.
Now this is us in the hallway outside the press room. It was the only safe place for us to take a picture. No photos are allowed in the press room. They actually kept throwing people out of the press room for taking pictures. It was crazy. Such a good time. If you want to know about anything else just leave a comment and I'll be sure to answer it. Thanks for being interested in my silly little excursions.

Watson the Brain

2011-02-17T10:04:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how many of you watch Jeopardy, but I do. I was obsessed during Ken Jennings run. He is remarkably intelligent. Well, this week he and another guy competed against an IBM computer creation. Of course, the computer new pretty much everything and kicked their trash. Ken did come in 2nd place though. It's amazing how smart they made this computer. It could understand Trebek's voice and questions. It responded properly and gave proper responses. It was just amazing. It was cute when it would mess up.

I enjoyed this article written by Ken Jennings since the taping. He's a very funny guy with a grounded sense of humor. He spoke highly of Watson and the computers programming. It also made me think about what is to come of artificial intelligence. I think it's awesome, however I do worry about what might happen. I don't think it will be terminators and the like, but what about an elimination of jobs. Factories are needing less people due to the ease and efficiency of programmable machines. Will that happen to us? What about the jobs we do everyday?

And seriously? Is there anything worse when calling tech support than to get a guy across the world to try and help you? I would say getting a robot to try to help me would be worse. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the future holds for us.

Any thoughts?

Forever

2011-02-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

Yep, it's been forever since I've posted. I just got really busy going through some things. I didn't forget about my blog, I just didn't have anything positive to say. Life has been good, but challenging at times. We're just fine though.

We had very lovely holidays. We went to Mesquite to visit Eric's family for Thanksgiving. It was a wonderful time, but Wal*Mart was insane at midnight. Good fun, good food, good times.

We spent Christmas here in LA. It was a surprisingly wonderful time. Okay, not surprising to us, but to all of our families that missed us. We were able to see several movies, some great, some kind of crappy. On Christmas day we also visited a little old lady in our ward that was in a rehab center. She was so sweet and charming. We just love our sweet Antine. We spent New Year's Eve watching movies and our friends, the Champions, came over for pizza making, games and ringing in NYC new year's eve. LA new year's eve was just happening to late for us all to stay up.

Now we're back to normal life. Eric is looking for a new job, but all the while focusing on his writing. He's a very talented writer and we have great hope for this new year and the possibilities that exist, but we just can't see yet.

I am patiently waiting out my time to see what is to come next for me. The possibilities are limitless.

Relief Society Presidency

2010-10-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

Back in April I was called to be the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society presidency in my ward here in LA. (A ward is a congregation specific to a geographic region for organizational purposes in the LDS/mormon faith.) Seriously, that was my new calling and I'm only 25. The president and 1st counselor are the same age as my mother if not older.

Suffice it to say I was incredibly intimidated, but very excited nonetheless. I'm the counselor over RS activities. It's been so much fun and really exciting. I've been able to conduct meetings and give lessons. I've planned (with a committee) some really great activities that have been really fun for all of the sisters.

I was thinking the other day though that I feel like this calling is happening to me and that I'm not happening to this calling. I am working really hard though and trying hard to make things better. I'm doing my best at being prayerful and doing for the sisters in the ward as Heavenly Father would have me do.

This is a calling that I love and I'm working really hard to do my best at it. It's so much fun and truly a blessing to be able to serve in such an exciting way.

If You Really Knew Me...

2010-07-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

I've started watching the new MTV show "If You Really Knew Me". In it they help students break down boundaries, which in turn leads them to know each other better and have less animosity in the school. It's basically a reality show version of The Breakfast Club, but without the detention.
This quote this morning sums it all up.
"If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate." - Elbert Hubbard

I guess I wanted to try this activity for myself. I think I'm so desperate for people to see who I am and I think the real me is hidden beneath the intial projection of myself.

This is how I think people view me: semi-confident, fun, a jokester, and sassy. On the other hand, I think I come off as a bit negative, whiney, lazy, dramatic, too serious, etc.

I think at times those are all true. Although I definitely prefer the first set of characteristics and I hope those come out the most.

If you really knew me though you would know there is a deeper side to me. Out of this place comes love, an overwhelming amount of love for other people. I want people to be happy and to have all the best life has to offer. I want to help and make their lives happier. I just want to love everyone ever. I am filled with compassion for those that suffer. That's who I really am beneath the less than pleasant parts of me.

And for the record I am totally sassy and don't take much too seriously. I get stressed out about things, but beyond that I'm not much bothered. Everything is available for joke in my opinion.

Anyway, that's me. Who are you?

Being a Mom

2010-07-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have never wanted anything more than to have my own family. To be married with lots of kids (lots means something very different in LA than it does in Utah) all hanging out in a happy home. Nothing else really seems to fulfill me and I ache for the time Eric and I get to have children. I love being married and I'm happy for the time the two of us have had to grow up and mature together.

Today, I cam across this little article. Boy oh boy did it get me thinking. It's basically discussing how some parents love their children, but hate their life now. I just hate that being a parent has come off as so negative. That somehow having kids has ruined their lives.** From what I've seen and experienced in my own life it's very apparent to me that parenting is really hard. Kids are needy and demand your attention. Loving and nurturing them is a selfless act. For those parents that left comments saying that they hated kids, wished they'd had abortions or that their kids ruined their lives I can't stop but think of how selfish they are.

They act as though everyone lied to them. That somehow everyone fooled them into thinking the rewards were greater than the challenges. Still that's pretty selfish to think. I just find it unbelievable that people could hate their lives so much because of their children. It sounds to me like they're not doing something right. They've either raised miserable kids or they have not given themselves permission to still have a life outside of their kids.

I appreciate the honesty of this article, but it makes me sad. I really hope that I don't ever regret the kids I hope to have one day. I want to love them and go through hard things with them. I want to laugh and play with them. I dream of the day I can take them to Disneyland for the first time and see their excitment. I even look forward to the fights and challenges. I just want to experience it all and I know I won't be perfect, but I'll try my best.

**Let's be clear about this, I am not yet a parent so my opinion on this topic may be completely void and useless.**

Parking

2010-07-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I hate parking. It often appears that I don't like driving or that I'm not good at it. However, that's not true. It's what happens after I drive somewhere that freaks me out. Once I get to my location I don't just get to stop and get out. I have to park the car. That is where I get scared. Seriously, you're close to other cars and it's a delicate dance. I just don't like any parking and parallel parking is the worst. I might hate parking, but I can do it without damaging anyone's stuff. It has put me in tears before though.

All that being said, living in LA is the worst place to be if you hate parking. There is never any parking anywhere you want to be it seems. Every once in awhile we'll get really lucky and find a nice close spot. I don't like parking garages either. They kind of freak me out, but some of them are okay. I hate having to pay to park too. I just miss the wide open spaces of parking lots. They're nice and open ready for me to park in.

The one thing that makes parking better for me is Eric. He's a great parker (I blame it on his maleness and good spatial reasoning skill), which is why I usually make him drive wherever we go. Even if I drive he usually parks if it's a tight spot. He's good at it and pretty good about calming my fears with parking too.

Overall though, I still hate parking, but I am getting better at with all the experience LA has provided for me.

Satan and Self-esteem

2010-06-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

Something dawned on me last night. For a long time now I've been in pursuit of finding the root of low self-esteem across the board in women. I want to know the cause and how to fix it. It might not seem like a huge deal, but our self-esteem is tied directly into the life decisions we make; good or bad. Women have so much more value and strength than they can even imagine and yet it's diminished by feelings of inadequacy and weakness.

In talking to the other members of the Relief Society presidency in my ward. (These are two amazing women who have lived amazing lives and I learn so much from them all the time.) We were talking about the influence of Satan in our lives. We talked about how he knows our weaknesses and how to keep us off the path of doing what is good and righteous. He doesn't even have to make us sin to not be great, just distract us from doing what is good. As I kept thinking about it I thought about his influence in the lives of women.

I can't help but think he is not afraid of the power women can have to influence great change for the better. He must know something amazing about us that we don't know yet. He can distract us with low self-esteem (various ways, we all know it) and thoughts of how to be better. He can make us feel unworthy to accomplish great things even when it's totally within our right and capacity to do.

Satan has fooled us into thinking he only causes us to commit sin so we ignore his other influences in our life, but he is ever present in some way or another. Be strong and know you're worthwhile. God loves each of us. He especially loves his daughters. Don't forget that!

Obese Girls and Sex

2010-05-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37344482/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/?ns=health-kids_and_parenting

This article is linking earlier incidences of sex, unprotected sex and multiple sexual partners to girls being overweight. I was very fortunate and didn't fall into any of those categories. I will say though how much I understand it. I would say if I hadn't been raised in a culture to value women and help us know the importance of waiting until marriage (and I know that doesn't work for everyone, but waiting at least for a first time until you're older than 13 makes sense to anyone) that I would have ended up like one of these statistics.

I know for me personally it was related directly to my insecurity that caused me to seek out male attention. Because I developed earlier than my friends I had assets I could show off to the boys to get attention. If there was a guy I liked in one of my classes I would intentionally wear tighter shirts or low cut tops to get him to talk to me and notice me. I was always hoping some guy would like me. For crying out loud I didn't even get asked to my senior prom and I probably only weighed 160lbs. Sure, I was overweight, but I wasn't gross.

Absolutely we need to help these girls be healthier, but we also need to let girls know they are good enough as they are. We need to make it less about appearance and more about who they are as a human being. They can be loved for their intelligence, wit, humor, compassion and various other talents.

It was the natural confidence I had about my intelligence that allowed me to rise above the challenges that could have befallen me. I'm blessed to have had the experiences I had and to have avoided some dangerous other experiences. Girls are so precious and we need to let them know that. Love your daughters, before someone else fools them into the wrong kind of love.

Women and Self Confidence

2010-05-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about women and self-confidence. Those are just two things that seem to rarely occur together. In my 25 years I don’t think I’ve met too many women that are fully confident in who they are. The ones I have met are usually over 45 and even not all of the women I know over 45 are that confident in themselves. I just find this to be a real tragedy. As women we’re so beautiful, all of us. We don’t have to look the same to be beautiful. As women we’re not all interested in the same guy. Sure there are types of men that we’re all more likely to be drawn to, but we don’t all like the same thing. Men don’t all like the same flavor either. It’s our unique characteristics that set us all apart. We need to learn to appreciate our beauty for what it is and now what it isn’t.

Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

Besides our appearance us women have so much more to offer too. We’re capable of multiply things. For a long time I hated that I had no visible talents. I couldn’t sing, play an instrument or a sport. However, I’m very smart and very discerning about people. I can understand someone in just a few short minutes and that is a gift/talent that I’m very fortunate to have. Our talents/gifts work best together and not separate.

I just really want women to love themselves and know that they are just how God intended them to be. None of us are perfect in anyway, but our imperfections can work for us and become strengths if we allow them. I just ask you to look past your weaknesses and see your strengths. If you allow them to be your strengths will great over shadow your weaknesses. Go out and share your strengths with the world. By doing so you’ll be able to see your value and learn to really love yourself.

Love Languages

2010-04-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

So, if you know me then you probably know I’m not much of a huggy person. I always feel awkward and clumsy when I give hugs. I love hugging Eric, but that’s because I do that a lot that it’s natural and easy. It’s not that I don’t love you or want to hug you it’s that I feel weird like I’m going to do it wrong. My husbands extended family would not accept that so I’ve learned to hug a lot more and be more open about it. Good thing since most people in LA hug. I’m getting more used to it, but I’m still not so great at it.

As I was thinking the other night I realized that’s just not how I show love for people. I do have a great love for all people. I know with my bold opinions it might not always seem that I’m filled with love, but I assure you that I am. Turns out I like to cook for those I love. If I’ve ever offered to cook you a meal then know that I really love you. Sharing food is very intimate and it means a lot that I bring you into that part of my life. Grocery shopping, preparing and serving food is a show of my love for people. Really, it’s totally true!

What do you think about that?

Relationship Advice

2010-04-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

So, a new blog has been started with me as a contributing member. It's an advice blog similar to the one I had talked about starting previously. So, please check it out. http://relationscoach.blogspot.com It's totally anonymous so I can't say which ones I wrote or anything, but you can try and guess, although there is only one posting as of right now. Please feel free to submit your questions and just maybe I'll be able to give you some advice.
Thanks!

Someone else is spending my money!

2010-04-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm a bit frustrated right now. I'm frustrated with all the excess money the government is spending without thought to the consequences. Well, if they are considering the consequences then they don't care about them. I just wish we could stop the spending instead of increasing it.

Currently my husband and I are working on paying down our debts and being smarter about the money we do have. We are doing lots of research, choosing our moves wisely and making plans for our future. It is not easy, but it must be done. There is no way we could pay down our debt if we simply continued to use our credit cards. Some days I have the urge to use them, but I know that is not what we agreed to; it's not in our financial plan. Yet, our government (the elected officials in power) continue to spend money that doesn't exist as though somehow that will make things better. It can only get worse if we keep increasing our debt. Eventually we will get to a point where we can't even afford to pay off our debts because they are just too excessive.

Why do they keep enacting new programs or prolonging old ones at the expense of the tax payer? Somehow it's okay to raise my taxes for those who are unwilling to work. Why should anyone work when they government is paying them enough not to work. It's completely idiotic. Government run programs are what I like to refer to as "poverty programs". I call them this because people can't get out of them. Often they can't receive assistance if they make over a certain dollar amount. I know t his because there was a time in my life that I was using Social Security Disability. I'm actually ashamed to admit that, but I was disabled at the time. I'm actually not opposed to the idea of disability services because those are so often people who cannot do for themselves. When I graduated college and began to work I could only work part time to maintain my benefits which included medicare (health insurance). But what is worse was the restrictions on how much money I could make or even save to maintain certain benefits. This is why I called it a poverty program. How can we ever expect people to get a leg up when we don't let them save money or invest what they do have?

Now there is the whole issue of extending unemployment benefits. That sounds like a good idea to help prevent more foreclosures and the like, but it doesn't really help people progress. They have an easy time living on what the government will give them. I'd love a 2 year paid vacation, but then I am just a burden on society. It's not cool. There is no financial education to help people get out of these types of situations.

I think what angers me the most is that by enacting and prolonging these types of programs the government is essentially buying votes. They are buying votes with tax payer money. I am a tax payer. They are buying votes with my money! Ugh! I'm just so sick of it!

Mom's Rights

2010-04-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

Check out this ridiculous story. A kid is mad that his mom blocked him out of his facebook account after he admitted on his account to breaking the law. He is now suing his mom for harrassment and slander. I'm not sure what the slander is about, but some judge will hear that. Harrassment though; are you kidding me? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! If that's true then every parent is harassing their kid by punishing them. Parents are supposed to protect their kids and that is what she was trying to do.

If the judge even takes the kid seriously we're in for trouble. This kid is dangerous especially to himself. We have parents to help and guide us through life and everything that goes along with it that teens can't understand.

Kids need to stop treating their parents like criminals for acting in their best interest. If we want to make things better in this world then we need to prevent crazy things like this from happening. Please read and discuss!

Milgram Torture Experiment

2010-03-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

So, I read today about French TV show that is basically broadcast their own version of the famous Milgram Experiement. Read about it here. If you don't know the experiment, then let me explain from what I remember. He gathered participants and then made them shock another participant if they got something wrong. When the person was shocked they'd wince in pay. The shock intensity continually increased until the person was screaming. The shocker (T)was continually told by an authority figure (E) to go ahead with the shocks even though the other person (L) was in pain. No matter how much the shockee screamed out the person continued as instructed even against their own judgement. Turns out the shockee was an actor and the authority figure was just an assistant in a lab coat. It was a test to see what you could get people to do with the influence of an authority figure. Check out the study specifics here. This study has never been repeated because it is so cruel to the one doing the shocking. To learn they could do something so horrible to another person was emotionally challenging for these people. Of course anyone initially upon hearing this study immediately says they would never do that themselves. No way could they hurt someone like that. However, think again. When an authority figure continues to tell you that you must continue and it is necessary to continue, would you really stop?

On the French TV show only 1 out of 5 people quit early and refused to participate further. This experiment is good in reminding us to stand up for ourselves and our beliefs. This isn't about religion or morals. It's about what is ethical and right to do to other people. And no matter what people tell us to do or not to do we need to know what our personal values for human life are. Not just in case we end up in an experiment, but in case we end up in a position to influence the lives and pain of otheres. If you need more proof of what people are capable of check out the Zimbardo Prison experiment.

Lastly, don't assume that the participants in these studies are bad people already. That is not the case. Most of them are just like us. They are good people trying to earn a wage to take care of their families. They are no different than you or I and that is why we need to be sensitive to this research and really look within to see where we stand.

Feminism: Pro or Con?

2010-02-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

So, perhaps as a woman I should not put this in print, but I’m somewhat of an anti-feminist. Sure, I very much appreciate their hard work so that I can vote and go to college. I’m happy to be able to work and help support my family. Those are all great things, but I’m not convinced the side effects are worth it. Years ago I even wrote a paper about how the rate of divorce increased at the same time as the feminist movement really picked up speed in the middle of the 20th century. More specifically though feminism is emasculating men and masculinizing women. This plays a huge part into how our relationships work. The reason we’re attracted to each other is because we’re different, not the same. We’re meant to complement one another, not compete with each other. God created us all as equals with an important purpose in His plan. We each have our own roles to play, but with feminism we, as simple mortals, are recreating our roles.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m truly grateful to be able to have an education and my own choice to determine my life. However, we need to let men be men and us women need to work harder at being feminine women. They all worked hard to progress us as women, but now all we’re doing is saying we want to be just like men. That’s counter productive. Let’s use our God-given assets as women and impower that. We’re only hurting ourselves by saying we were never good enough as we were. We want more, we want to be men. Let’s remember who we are and be the best at that and not force ourselves in some other direction.

Okay, I know someone is going to disagree with me. That’s fine. Just please be nice and not rude in your attempts to criticize me.

Kids who self-injure

2010-02-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

I might be married to a man with an aspiring film career, but I have interests and passions of my own. I am absolutely passionate about people and what makes them who they are. I studied psychology in college and was in love with everything I learned; even some of the darker sadder stuff. It really just opens up your world and helps you to learn to love every kind of person.

An article I read yesterday reminded me of this love and passion that I have inside. In this article it talks about children who self-injure and some of the reasons they explain why they do it. The basic understanding standing is the children use the physical pain to help them release and moderate internal/emotional pain. Psychologists don't know what causes children to start to self-injure or even how to help them to make it stop.

I remember volunteering in a state mental hospital for one of my university courses. I worked in a girls' classroom about once a week. I usually worked with this one girl, we'll call her Patti. She was a sweet girl, but very slow. I would help her with her homework each time I was there, but I always had to read her the material and then basically show her where the answer was. Part of me was angry that the system was failing her. She couldn't possibly be learning because no one was pushing her. Then one day one of the techs or teachers was talking to me about how her medication slowed her down and made a lot of things hard for her to do. I finally understood that she wasn't slow because no one was trying anything, but because the medicine to treat her problems were that intense. A little while after that conversation I was talking to Patti about goals she had (it was part of an assignment) and she mentioned one goal that totally surprised me. She said to me that her goal was to stop hurting herself. My mind reeled. Being just a college student with no clinical training I sure didn't think that could be why she was in there from the beginning. Frankly I didn't think much of their diagnoses. It wasn't why I was there. But the moment I heard that my heart broke for her. I couldn't imagine having so much pain in my life that I'd harm myself to feel better. It was terrible that something to severe was happening in her life, even though to this day I still don't know what that is.

Another story I heard about a girl who self-injured will absolutely break your heart. This was many decades ago that this story took place. We’ll call her Jenni. My teacher met her when she came into a state hospital because she was at risk of taking her own life. She was a cutter. She had scars on top of other scars from cutting. She was on permanent suicide watch. My teacher made some comment to a doctor about how bad could her life really be that she would do so much damage to herself and be considering suicide. The doctor then gave him her file and told him to read it. He did and what he found out will make anyone with a heart cringe. From the time she was a very little girl her mother had sold her for drugs. She had been used and abused by so many people, even her own mother, from a very young age. Knowing that about her makes sense, because I don’t know that any of us would want to live anymore if that had happened to us.

I know this is a long post, but I felt that it was important to discuss and to include examples. This is important to bring out because mental illness is a very widespread problem and it often gets little recognition or support. There are mental illnesses that can lead teenagers and even children to die by their own hand. Everything from depression, to anxiety to eating disorders. They are all so dangerous, but can be helped. We shouldn’t be afraid of the reputation given to mental illness. We shouldn’t look down on it. It is not something that can be helped or even necessarily prevented. We don’t get angry when someone gets cancer or has a heart attack. In my opinion mental illness should be treated like cancer. It is a disease that we should vigorously fight with the right treatments. It’s time to put on your game face and attack the enemy; not run away in fear.

American Pride Cycle

2010-01-25T10:34:00.000-08:00

So, I read an article last week. Now, I can't seem to find it. Basically it was describing how no democracy has lasted much more than 200 years. Eventually they all destroy themselves. They become large and arrogant and declare wars they cannot sustain. If you know the article I'm talking about and you have a link, please let me know so I can post it. Thanks!

The reason this article caught my eye was how simply it described America in the pride cycle. If you've ever read the Book of Mormon you know exactly how this cycle works and we are not in a good place on that cycle. Our society is about to implode and we'll all pay the consequences for it. We are a prideful people and it is now time we turn to God to get us out of the mess we have created for ourselves.

I apologize if this comes off as alarmist, but now is the time for alarm, not when the crisis is upon us. Let me know your thoughts and if you think we're in a better place than I do.

Addendum

2010-01-20T13:29:00.000-08:00

I don't think I made it clear why I think it's important to be childlike. I said it because I believe that when we're childlike we more closely resemble the person God wants us to be. When we act "mature" and adultlike we more closely resemble the person we want to be. And it is my firm belief that it is through God and His Son, Jesus Christ that we are saved. So, it is better to be the versions they know is best than just what we think is best.

I know what it is to be childlike

2010-01-19T12:09:00.001-08:00

Growing up in the church (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) there was always talk about being childlike. I’m not sure where the reference is, but there is scripture telling us to be childlike. This was not to be interpreted as childish. It was not a command to never grow up and be irresponsible. Frankly, in my youth I had no clue what it meant. All I wanted then was to grow up and be an adult. I was growing closer and closer to the time where I would shred my childlike qualities and just be mature and responsible all the time.

As I grew older I began to realize some qualities of a child that would help me be a better person. Being able to listen and obey would help make me a better employee. Being imaginative would help me think outside the box in my problem solving. Being playful would help me enjoy life even when it was hard.

Still, it wasn’t until I moved to Los Angeles that I really learned what was so powerful and great about being childlike. In LA if you’re child like at all you’re looked down on as being naïve and insignificant. They’d rather be a grown up and do reckless things. For them drinking, partying and one night stands are grown up and a natural part of life. Children don’t need to drink to be free or enjoy time with their friends. No substance is necessary for that; they’re just born to be honest and have a good time. They’re not yet afraid to be themselves. Kids are always at a party. Their lives are a reason to celebrate and there is no need for a special occasion. They are free to meet new people when ever the occasion arises. They will talk to whoever they can whenever they can. There are no social mores for them. They sure as heck don’t have one night stands and not just because they don’t have sex. If they “hook-up” with a new friend at the grocery store those two are friends every time they see each other in the future. They want to spend time together in the future. If it was a good time once then it will be a good time again.

The most childlike quality you can have in my opinion is honesty. They are honest with who they are, what they want and what they like. They don’t hide things from us like we do from each other.

The more time I spend at Disneyland the more time I realize just how much I am childlike. The people I work with despise Disneyland. One guy even said he’d rather go to a strip club (gross!) than to Disneyland. The park fulfills my creativity, my dreams and the place I can just be happy to be alive again.

If not through Disneyland we can all strive to be more childlike in our lives. We can reach out to others and try to be more honest with others.

Rich Kids = Wealth of Problems

2010-01-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

So, I just read this photo-journal article. It was just showing all these crimes that had been committed by children who had grown up in wealthy families. The article talks about the crotch bomber, John Hinkcley Jr., the Menendez brothers, and even Osama bin Laden. In it's own way the article makes a link between priviledged childhood and a criminal adulthood.

I suppose that raises the question of whether or not their is a causal link or not. Are kids from middle class or even poor families just as likely to commit these crimes. Does the degree of criminal behavior change as you increase or decrease the amount of access a child has to money and possesions. Are their ways for wealthy parents to avoid these risks with their children?

I have some of my own ideas, but I think these questions should absolutely be looked into. In my opinion there is a degree of boredom and the inability to be satiated that can drive young adults to do these things and live lives of crime. The Loeb brothers in the article for example. First, they lacked the necessary love and affection we all need as humans. Second, they had everything they could want. So, in that theory they should have never been bored. However, when everything is available or you can get it, those things become boring. The things you can't have or do become very exciting. Murder is about control, which they didn't really have over their lives, so they murdered because it was something they weren't allowed to do and at the very least it would be interesting. (Just my opionion, I don't know anything about them for sure.)

Of course, not all rich spoiled kids will be criminals. Just look at the Hilton family; those kids haven't killed anyone, yet. However, they are wreckless and there have been a number of DUIs in that family. There are a lot of risks associated with wealth, especially when parents allow posessions to parent their children.

This is just a note to parents and a plea for more research to be done. This is not a good sign for our society and it couldn't hurt to learn how to stop the trend.

My dad is famous now!

2010-01-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

just want to give a little shout out to my dad. He's kind of famous now. He lives in Washington and is a huge hockey fan. He follows the local WHL team religiously. He even has season tickets now that he doesn't have kids at home to pay for. For all the years I can remember it was a family tradition for us to go to the game against our rivals on New Year's Eve. It was so much fun and always a great game. Just last night my dad was caught candidly showing his enthusiasm for the team and for the night's celebrations. You can check out the picture with him here or you can just see it below.

Fire truck in Hole

2009-12-30T14:29:00.001-08:00

I remember hearing about this on the news. It was seriously just a few blocks from our apartment. My only question is: Does he really think that if that fire truck begins to fall down he'll be able to stop it from crushing him?

Naked at the airport?

2009-12-29T09:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, so by now we all know that a guy tried to blow up a plane going to Detroit. Now there are even more security checks happening. That is just going to cause longer lines and more irritation to travellers. I don't really care because I'd rather be safe. I was thinking about it the other day though and I remembered hearing about these advanced X-ray machines that could basically see through clothing. And I then wondered why we don't have these in all the airports to keep us safe. Here is an article answering that question. Apparently people don't like it because it's too invasive and embarrasing. They don't want someone to see the shape of their body. A member of the ACLU (an organization that I don't think too kindly about) said that it's like performing a "virtual strip search". Well, wouldn't you rather it be virtual than real? Seriously, I don't like my body either, but I'd rather do that and make sure everyone else on my plane is going to be safe rather than worry about the x-ray operator seeing my roles of fat. Seriously, are we so vain that even our own lives aren't as valuable as looking good and not being embarrassed?

Is it okay to shoplift? One priest thinks so!

2009-12-22T09:42:00.000-08:00

I saw an article on MSN today saying that a UK priest was preaching shoplifting. At first sight I was disgusted. How could someone who considers themself a man of God recommend such illegal behavior? However, as I read more I started to agree more with him than everyone else. He was specifically recommending it to those who had nothing or had been left without options to feed themselves or their families. He would rather them steal a can of ravioli than turn to prostition or more violent crimes. If we as a people choose to ignore charities or the most vulnerable around us, then we deserve to pay the consequences. He only recommended stealing from chain stores because the cost of stolen food would just be past down to the rest of us.

I'm still completely against theft of any kind, but I agree with the idea of it all. We shouldn't be ignoring the people who are really in need. We need to take care of each other and do more to help those in need. We can donate to charities. Find individuals in our lives that need our help.

I love that his sermon was so provocative because it reached me clear on the other side of the "pond" and got me thinking. This is a good and healthy dialogue and hopefully it stretches us all to do a little bit more for someone else.

I do not believe God will bless those who do not bless the lives of his other children.

Pictures from Disneyland

2009-10-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

When we first moved out here we went to Disneyland for 3 glorious days. Eric had never been so I really wanted to take him. Below are some of the pictures we have from that day. Also, some others when we went earlier this year.

These were on the jungle book ride.

This was on Space Mountain. I didn't ride this much as a kid, but now it's absolutely one of my favorites. The wind in my eyes and the screaming make my eyes water. I always look like I'm crying when I'm done with this ride.

This is the little Bug's Life ride in California Adventure. It's was simple and quick, but still fun.The entrance to the River Raft Ride in California Adventure. Total blast to ride, but you will get soaked. This is on California Screamin'. I love this roller coaster. Probably the best coaster I've ever been on. It's smooth and fast and so fun. However, they do manage to take your picture at just the moment when you look like crap.

This is on Thunder Mountain. This is a ride I've loved since I was young. It's fast and crazy. Lots of fun!So, I love Disneyland as you might have noticed. We're always up for anyone else going with us, especially if they've never been before. So please, let us know if you're visiting or even if you live around here and just want to go. We'd love to be your guide!

Disneyland Part 2

2009-10-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, so after we changed we went back to our car to put our wet clothes away. When we came back to the park we felt renewed and ready to start the rest of our day. We were late for our fast pass tickets to Space Mountain but we tried anyway. It turns out that you can use them late. We rode and this time was much better. It went faster and was just crazy fun! I still kept my eyes closed most of the time, but it was great. After that we hopped on the monorail and went over to Disney's California Adventure Park. We went straight back to California Screamin'. It's probably my favorite roller coaster ever. Also, I think it was the first ride I ever went upside down in. Anyway, the line was kind of long and we could get fast passes and then go ride Toy Story Mania. Seriously, this is like the best new ride ever. So, we wanted in line for about 45 minutes. Talked to my brother, Adam, on the phone while in line. That helped the time go faster. So then we did Screamin' which was probably the best time I've ever had on that ride. I'm not sure what was so great, but I just totally enjoyed it and the freedom I felt on the ride. The day was starting to shape up into a splendid time. We checked out the line from some other rides but didn't want to wait or come back so we went back to Disneyland. We had fast passes for the Indiana Jones ride. This is where the afternoon got interesting. While on our way to the ride I noticed some sort of paper laying on the ground. It kind of looked like money, so I picked it up to see. It was definitely cash, but I didn't know what to do with it so I gave it to Eric for safe keeping. Once we discovered it was more than $50 the conflict began. What do we do with the money? We agonized for quite awhile and asked several park employees. Eventually we turned it over because I knew I'd feel too guilty if I didn't. We watch the fireworks that night and rode Thunder Mountain. It was a crazy, but pleasant day. Seriously, it was like a full week of vacation packed into one day. I love Disneyland so much and can't wait to go back again soon. I need to work there I think; or something.

Notes if you're going to the park:

Use the Fast Pass feature! Don't wait in really long lines, there is no need for that.

Just have a blast!

Use a map to move around the park if you're unfamiliar.

Ride your favorite rides as many times as you can.

If you need any other tips or have questions feel free to ask me. I love this place!

Two Weekends: Disneyland vs. Universal Studios

2009-10-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

Can I just how great it is living in the Los Angeles area. We can literally be from our apartment to the gates of Universal Studios in 15 minutes. We can get to Disneyland in 45 minutes. On October 10th we went to Disneyland since we had free passes.
We wanted to be there at 8am when the park opened, but it was hard to get up early enough. We left around 7:20 and stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. The drive through took forever so we didn't end up getting to Disneyland until about 8:30, but it was still a great, but totally insane day at Disneyland. So many adventures were had that day. There were times it was not going well and then it turned out great. It was just a totally insane day for us. Let me tell you all about what happened once we got there.

We wanted to to do Space Mountain since it's one of our favorite rides but knew also that it would be a packed day since it was busy and they're all set up for Halloween. We got fast passes since the wait time was 45 minutes, but after we got our passes the wait time was only 25 minutes so we just went ahead and waited in line. It wasn't so great. They had weird ghostly images during the ride, but not much else. I just kept my eyes closed so I hardly noticed it and Eric said it wasn't that scary really. It also felt like the ride was going in slow motion too. Not a great first ride.

We rode some other stuff around there and then made our way over to Adventureland. I believe we rode Pirates of the Carribbean first. The line was short and it's a ride you have to go on everytime you're at Disneyland. The first big fall is my favorite part of the whole ride. After that we looked around the area and tried to find Club 33. We actually walked right past it and then came back around to find it again. It's just adjacent to the crystal shop, if you know where that is. Club 33 is an exclusive club for members at Disneyland. You should look it up. I hope I have the opportunity to go there sometime. The images of it are absolutely amazing. Take a look at this website to see more about it. After we found that and took a picture of the door we went to see what the line was like for the Haunted Mansion. It's all decked out with stuff from The Nightmare Before Christmas, which is one of Eric's favorite movies so we had to ride it. The line was like an hour long, totally insane, so we got fast passes for that too. Then we were debating on splash mountain. Eric loves the ride but I wasn't sure about getting wet on a barely warm day. While we were deciding we rode on the Winnie the Pooh ride. It's nothing fancy, but it's fun at least. After that we found a little treat shop. Eric saw this huge cupcake and had to have it even though I advised against it. Check out his blog for pictures.

So, he ate his treat and then we got in line for Splash Mountain. We didn't realize until we were in our log that they'd put 4 adult men behind us in the boat. So we're talking about a log that now weighed probably over 1000 pounds. Insane huh? Totes! We got soaked. I tried to just roll with it and have a good time. After we got off Eric was not feeling well from his cupcake. We ran to the nearest bathroom. He was texting me about how miserable he was from being wet and that he wanted to buy a new shirt. I agreed. We ended up in Downtown Disney at a Quiksilver store. He got a new shirt, shorts and dry socks. I got a new shirt and dry socks for the day. It sure did help our moods to be reasonably dry again. But next time we're taking a change of clothes with us.

Wow, this post is long enough now. I'll have to post more later about all the crazy happenings tomorrow. Come back later for more or you can check out Eric's blog about it.

Sassy

2009-10-14T15:16:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's what I am. Check out the definition: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sassy. If you scroll down enough it gives 3 defenitions for the word.

Rude and disrespectful; impudent.
Lively and spirited; jaunty.
Stylish; chic: a sassy little hat

I get called "sassy" an awful lot. My whole life has been that way, and since someone sad it at work to me yesterday I figured it was time to look up the defenition. So, then I read this and thought, "Gee, I really hope I'm not rude and disrespectful." I know that sometimes I fit into that category, which is a bummer and I'm working on it. Hopefully though I'm much more lively and spirited than anything else. I want to be a friendly happy person so I need to do more to have people see that in me. I know that I'm "sassy". That will probably never go away. I just want it to be endearing to people and not push them away.

What kind of sassy do you think I am?

My husband's Blog

2009-10-13T16:43:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to let you know all about a very hilarious blog that is much more consistent than my own. You should read my husband's blog. He's very funny and a great writer. You can check it out here: http://produce-er.blogspot.com

Read it, leave comments, but most importantly enjoy his blog. Let me know what you think.

2 Questions

2009-10-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

Again, I read another article . This time it's an article done for Oprah.com from a discussion with Steve Harvey. He lists out 5 questions women should ask the men they're dating to make sure their goals and plans much up. You can ask these questions at any point in the relationship to see that you're both still on the same page and make sure you're understanding each other the way it actually is. I think it's a good suggestion to make sure you're both on the same page. Hopefully though you know this information without having to ask. Communicate throughout your whole relationship so you know what's going on and that nothing is going to suddenly surprise you.

I have two questions of my own that I think every woman should ask a potential husband. Perhaps don't say this too early on in the relationship, but don't be afraid to ask. Here they are:

Are you gay?
Are you addicted to pornography?

People usually laugh when I tell them to ask these questions. They think it's silly to ask a guy these questions, because of course you'd know if you spent lots of time with him before he proposed. Well, that is most likely true, but when there is a lot of shame (especially in religious communities) about those two things that guys might lie to themselves or just simply try to hide it. You don't want to get married and then discover during or after the honeymoon that he's got a whole bag of other issues you didn't know about. I've also had several friends get married and within a year it fell apart because of at least one of those issues.

Of course, if you get a yes to either of those answers then you have to decide how you'll proceed or if you need some sort of of ocunseling. Neither of those is an absolute destroyer of your relationship if you go into it knowing the situation. You just don't want to be deceived.

Religion and Homosexuality

2009-10-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

So, I read a Newsweek article this morning that I found very sweet and considerate. It was about a religious man who was once filled with hate and ignorance for homosexuals. He thought homosexuals were all sinners and bound for hell. At the encouragement of his mother he looked into what his real beliefs were and what Jesus Christ would say about that. Over a period of a few years he changed his mind. He saw that homosexuals are created in God's image just like the rest of us. It was even to the point of him joining in rallies for "gay rights".

What his story reminded me of was the view of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on people who are homosexual. This is the church I belong to, more commonly known as "the Mormon church". Often times when people think of my church and homosexuality they envision a religious group that hates homosexuals, their lives and their existence. This is not true. Of course, there are individuals who are confused and judgemental, but that's not the official stand of the church. Elder Oaks (member of the Council of the Twelve Apostles) said, "The distinction between feelings or inclinations on the one hand, and behavior on the other hand, is very clear. It’s no sin to have inclinations that if yielded to would produce behavior that would be a transgression. The sin is in yielding to temptation. Temptation is not unique. Even the Savior was tempted."

At the end of the day we do believe homosexuality is wrong and a sinful behavior. However, the feelings and inclinations are not wrong or sinful. It's what we do with those feelings and temptations we're given that determine whether we're living correctly or not.

The main reason I wanted to bring this up was to say that I don't hate homosexuals or think of them as less than me. I might not agree with what they're doing, but I'm opinionated. I don't agree with a lot of things other people are doing, but that doesn't change things. I love all people and want them to be happy. There needs to be a lot more love and compassion in the world.

The "Pill"

2009-10-07T14:31:00.001-07:00

Wow! MSN is on a roll with interesting articles today. I just read this one. It's about how the pill affects your hormone levels, which in turn affects the guys you're attracted to. During ovulation women are generally more attracted to the sexiest, strongest man in the room. The rest of her cycle she's more likely to be attracted to a less masculine type. They even go so far as to say a man with more feminine features, but that's probably not the word I'd use. Anyway, I just found the science behind this totally fascinating.

It made me think too about the time I met Eric. I wasn't on the pill. I was full of my roller coaster hormones making me attracted to all sorts of guys at different times. However, Eric fit in all parts of the roller coaster. Anyway, that's not important. Just thought I'd bring in to everyone's attention. Now for the single ladies out there: next time you think a guy is hot first consider if you might be near ovulation. If so, then run the other way. He wouldn't make a good father so don't waste your time. Just imagine him when you're with your non-ovulation time boyfriend. ;-)

Mom's the problem?

2009-10-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

So, this article is totally fascintating. It's about an 18-year old kid who has been breaking into businesses and homes and just fleeing. Eighteen months ago he escaped from a half-way house and has been on the run ever since. The police have not been able to catch him. It's now at the point that he's stealing and then crash landing small aircraft. Oh yeah, he also does most of this while barefoot.

They interviewed his mom and she was actually quite proud of her son. Seriously. She even advised him to wear a parachute the next time he steals a plane. She wants him to escape to a country that won't extradite him. Again, seriously? It's clear as you read the article that he lacks any sort of positive parental influence in his life. He's like a Peter Pan in the modern world. Just playing and doing what he wants. This is a problem. I know he's committing crimes, but his mother committed the biggest one of all by being an absolutely crappy parent.

The Primetime Emmy's!

2009-09-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I went to the Emmy's this year too. Big year for me living in Los Angeles. I went to the Oscars in February and just this past Sunday I went to the Emmy's. When I say that I went, I really mean that I worked at the Emmy's. I worked in the Emmy's Press Room. This is "backstage" where all the winners come in and the media/press ask them frivilous questions. The picture to the left here is of the female stars of Mad Men in the press Room. This was the stage and background where the winners stood while a large room of people asked them questions. We were at the back of the room handing out headsets for people to listen to the show during the interviews. The room probably sat over 100 press people. Plus in the back was all the equipment for AV stuff. We also did all the TVs in the room that were playing the show live for us al to watch. Pretty exciting stuff. The wall to the right of me had a buffet of food for us all to eat. The food arrived at 4:30, which was 30 minutes to show time. It was pretty good, but the chicken was horribly dry. They had pork rib meat. So delicious. The mashed potatoes were really good too. It was free so I really can't complain. On the left side of the wall they had a Coca Cola area. They provided drinks for everyone. They had Smart Water bottles, but also Classic Coke, Diet Coke and Coke Zero. The best part about these was the bottle the sodas came in. They are cans in the shape of bottles. They have a twise off lid and everything. I just thought they were so adorable. They're super light weight. You can see a picture on the right of what they look like. They eventually ran out of these bottles and then just brought in cans of the stuff. But I still have two of these at home. The other cool thing about this adventure was the bathrooms. Seriously, I'm easily impressed it seems. Well, let me first explain where we were. The Emmy's were held at the Nokia Theatre across from the Staples Center. There is a parking structure behind Nokia where we parked (which seriously, we got lost and all the streets were blocked off. It took us like 20-30 minutes to get to the right place) and then took an elevator up to the top of the parking structure. On top they have an air conditioned tent for all the press and stuff. So, you can't really have bathrooms in a tent. They set up what I believe would be considered a "Honey Wagon". It's a large porto-potty. It's so nice though. The toilets are like those you'd find in a motor home. It was probably a 30-40' long trailer with both a side for women and one for men. Seriously, I was totally impressed. I found two pictures that show what it looked like inside. On the left is what it would look like if you looked to your right when you walked into the women's side. There were 6 individual bathroom stalls and 3 sinks. There was never a line, which was great. The coloring on hours was more of the platinum look like the picture of the sinks on the right. Other than that the show was alright. Not very many of the people I wanted to win did, so that was a little bit depressing. I really wanted Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory to win. It is a brilliant show that I love. If you haven't seen it then you should watch it. He is absolutely brilliant and hilarious in this show. I really wish he'd won because then I would have been in the same room as him. Maybe next year they'll get more nominations and that'd be great. Mad Men is one of our favorite shows and they won so that was pretty cool to see them all standing around waiting for their turn to be interviewed. I suppose it goes as they say, you win some, you lose some. There is always next year!

Racism, really?

2009-09-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

I'm frustrated right now that so many people are being called racists because they happen to disagree with the president who happens to be black. Are we seriously racist for not having the same ideas and opinions of people of other races?

Read this article and see what you think.

Former President Carter is saying that Rep. Joe Wilson's remarks come out of some sort of racism. Why does it have to be from racism and not something else entirely? I'm wondering if the outburst had more to do with being heard than anything else.

I will agree that some situations, rallies, tea parties, etc. have gotten out of hand at times. People have been less than polite in their anger. Perhaps though they're sick of not being listened to.

As quickly as someone says something bad about healthcare; the whitehouse, media, or whoever is turning it into just a racist response or a lunatic's bellowing.

People should be able to dissent and the president should at the very least listen to what the people are telling him. He needs to stop assuming that he knows best for this country and that it's okay to ignore the populace. This is the same thing that President Bush did and it didn't make us too happy then either.

Let's stop calling people racist and really discuss these issues going on.

The Price is Right

2009-08-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

We did the Price is Right yesterday with my parents, aunt and her friend. It was a very long, but fun day. It was our anniversary so it was great times! We've been married for 4 years now. Here is what went down yesterday:

We had to get up early to get in a line to get our “order of arrival” tickets. This would help us later when we were in line. We were in Hollywood at 6am. At this point we just got our tickets and were told to come back at 12:30 for the “interviewing” process and what not.
We went to Denny’s in Burbank to get breakfast.
My hair was looking ridiculous from the humidity in Hollywood so we drove back to my place where we chatted and then my aunt’s friend fixed my hair since she’s a hairdresser.
Finally we headed back down to Hollywood. We managed to have some extra time so we drove down Rodeo drive and then to Wilshire.
We had to park at the Grove, so we got there around 11:15. We kind of just meandered through The Grove shops, checked out the Farmer’s Market area. Finally, we walked to CBS and arrived around 12:15 and just sat down.
Within 30 minutes we were called in order of our numbers to sit on a new bench. We probably waited there for an hour. At least they had bathrooms and snacks nearby.
While we waited there we were given new numbers, name tags and info cards to fill out. We put our number below our name tags and returned the info card with some interesting info about ourselves.
Oh yeah, Eric and I were wearing shirts that said, “It’s my anniversary”.
After everything had been filled out and what not they took our pictures.
Finally we got “interviewed” in groups, but it was so fast and kind of boring. We thought we were finally getting close though.
Next stop was security. They checked purses, bags, etc. You had to pass through a medical detector. No cell phones were allowed so they took those if you had them and put a number on them. It was kind of like a “coat check” but for cell phones. They also took Eric’s key chain pocket knife.
It was after 2pm when we were seated on more benches. The taping started at 4pm. We thought maybe they’d seat us in the theatre while they went through the other people (we had low numbers so we got to do everything first and then waited for everyone else), but nope. We waited a good hour or two sitting on the most uncomfortable benches. Turns out though the girl sitting across from me got called up and won a car. The girl next to me got called up, but never made it on stage.
After nearly two hours of waiting on these benches they finally started letting us into the audience of the set. I was shocked by how small the set was. It looks really large on TV, but it’s not. There are only 3 sections of sliding doors, but they only used 2 yesterday. Everything looks like it’s from the 70s. Everything is just so close. Even the audience seating doesn’t look that large either. It’s a small auditorium compared to how big it looks on TV. Rich Fields came out and pumped us up. It was fun and loud. They got the show started very quickly.
Most everyone lost, but a couple of cars were won.
This episode will air on November 23rd.

Let me know if I left anything out or you have questions. All and all it was fun and I'd be willing to do it again, but I'd need to take the next day off too.

The Book of Mormon Changed my Life

2009-08-12T12:18:00.001-07:00

If you’ve kept up with my blog you know that this past year has been very challenging for Eric and me. He has continuously looked for work to no avail. This economy is just completely beating us up and it’s been very painful and frustrating at times. As 2009 progressed I sunk deeper and deeper into despair and borderline depression at times. I had no hope that anything would work out. We continually prayed and did what we were supposed to do; whatever that means. Anyway, I felt like Heavenly Father wasn’t even hearing our prayers anymore. I started to question if anyone was even there to hear our prayers or if I was just saying them to make me feel better. My life was collapsing around me and my faith was going along with it. I tried to put on a happy face and really listen to the messages at church, but rarely did anything get through. There were a few happy moments, but nothing really significant during that time. I eventually decided sometime in July that I couldn’t just give up on the church without putting in a full effort to see if things were true or not. Throughout the year I had tried reading the Book of Mormon, but I was only at 1 Nephi, chapter 6. Clearly, I hadn’t put much of an effort in to read it. I decided I would read it every day.

At first I was tired at nights when I was supposed to read so that made it particularly hard to do it everyday. Suddenly, one day while at work I got a brilliant idea. I realized the scriptures were all online and I could read them during the slow parts of the day at work. That first day I started at 1 Nephi, Chapter 7 and probably read about 15 chapters. I literally couldn’t stop myself from reading. I was addicted. The old stories that I knew so well were comforting and exciting. The next day I probably read another 15 chapters. Eventually I slowed down how much I was reading everyday and now I’m down to one chapter a day usually. But it is now my goal to read at least one chapter a day. Reading this book has changed me completely. I don’t have so many doubts and I generally live in a place of hope and not despair. I have faith and hope for our future again. I believe things are going to work out for us even if I don’t know how or when. We’re surviving and things are going better for us than should really be possible. Simply reading this book has made my life easier to live and enjoy. Nothing is as hard as it used to be. My prayers are more meaningful and answers are coming to us on a regular basis.

If you need comfort, counsel, peace, direction or whatever I suggest you pick up the book again and start reading from page one. If it could change my life so quickly than I truly believe it can change yours if you let it.

LA Fitness Killer

2009-08-05T16:49:00.001-07:00

I don't know if you heard about this guy or not. Today I read some of his blog. Because of some things his preacher taught he believes that he is going to heaven. This I don't necessarily agree with, but I'm not going to judge since I have no say. That's judgement is in God's territory. However, I'm grateful to believe that it's not just about our faith, but our works too that make a difference where we end up in the after life. I believe that what we choose to do in this life good or bad really does matter and we're being watched and recorded closely.

Jesus Christ did pay for our sins, but there is still justice in the world. To be forgiven of our sins and have the atonement actually work we must ask for it's application through repentance and prayer. The atonement is a free gift, but it's not a coverall for our choices. We can be forgiven of our sins if we're truly repentant. Comitting sin knowingly against God's laws is wrong and makes remorse and true repentance difficult.

We must always watch where our faith and testimony in God the Father and His son, Jesus Christ is. But also we have to make sure that our actions (works) are in line with His teachings. We have to do our part in this life. It's not right to leave it up to one guy, even if He was perfect.

Prayer

2009-07-28T09:38:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to do a quick post about the power of prayer. I've been struggling with something lately, not a huge thing, but it's been bugging me. The other night when Eric and I were saying our prayers together he prayed that the problem would go away or at least be improved for me. Then, yesterday at work his prayer was answered. It doesn't always work out that way, but then it did and that made me very happy. I know that prayers are answered and sometimes we just have to pay attention to how it's answered. I'll just keep praying and see how things go from here.

Advice Column

2009-07-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

I am now in the process of preparing the launch of my new advice column. I would like to have some questions (with my response) put on there when I start. However, I don't have any questions to answer. Can you guys give me some questions to answer regarding relationships (of any type)? I want to talk about marital, sibling, parent-child, teacher-student and all other kinds of relationships. If you're not sure just ask anyway. This can be all anonymous so you're not stuck to questions just for yourself. Even make up a question if you want. Give me what you've got and I'd love to try to answer it.

I will let you all know how to access my website when it's finally finished and up. Thanks so much!

Heat!

2009-07-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know (for no real good reason) that I hate the heat. I would much rather be cold than hot. I'd probably rather freeze to death than burn to death. Here are a couple of things I think about hot weather and the heat.

I think it's ridiculous that in this day and age that not every building (including our apartment) has central heating and air. I need better AC than an ancient machine.
When it's cold you can always bundle up and get under blankets, but in the summer you can only take so much off.
I get annoyed when people complain that the AC is too cold when it's nearly 100 degrees outside. Bring a sweater if you must because the rest of us would not like to melt.
I get annoyed when weather people think that the weather/temperature is better when it gets closer to 100 degrees.
I feel claustrophobic in the heat. I just can't escape out of the situation.

I think I should just move to London one day where it is much cooler and it rains a lot. Now that, I can handle. Good luck to all of you who are trying to stay cool out there!

Healthcare "Reform"

2009-07-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

I am so not happy with the new ideas for health care in our country. I'll go point by point so that I don't get muddled in what I'm trying to say.

They are talking about an "individual mandate" which is absolutely offensive to me. Part of the beauty of America is that we are free to choose, but if they require this of us then it is no longer a choice for all of us. I understand that when someone becomes seriously ill or injured, but has no insurance it hurts the system as a whole, but then find a way to make them pay for it without punishing me.
They are setting an income limit for being able to afford your own health care. This like most other government programs is a poverty program. If they set the maximum at $16,250 then people will strive to make $16K when they could make $17K or $18K. In the long run they'll save money by letting the government and other taxpayers carry the burden.
What about all the illegal aliens that use our health care system without insurance. They won't be legal citizens so by law they don't have to have insurance. Also, they'll probably make less than the maximum so we'll pay for it anyway.
Those of us who have decent jobs and wages will end up paying more in taxes for many people who are capable, but unwilling to work harder to pay for their own medical care.

I am not opposed to health care because I know I've needed it in my life. However, I worry about where the money will come from and what this could do to our outrageously high national debt. I want people to be taken care of and perhaps we could find other ways to make it work. We're a young country with many new ideas, so let's get to work and use them.

Change of Plans

2009-07-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

Original Plan
When we moved to LA in late 2008 we decided that I would work full-time while Eric interned. After interning for about 2 to 3 months then he'd get a full-time job in a mail room of a talent agency or a production company. Then, he'd work his way up to a desk (being an assistant). He'd be an assistant for one to two years. After that he'd continue to work his way up until he could finally start producing the movies he wanted to produce.

Reality
We moved out here and I found a job while Eric interned. During that time the economy took a nose-dive. Once Eric had completed his internships he looked so hard for work. He's been looking, applying and interviewing for over 6 months now and nothing has come of it. Things in the economy have possibly gotten worse. He's had to do temp work and other things that he doesn't care to do. Our financial situation is often scarier than I would like to think. While Eric has had the time at home he has written one script that he is now working on re-writing, but the story is really good and interesting. Plus he's working with friends to hopefully produce a piece that they've written.

New Plan
Eric is going to continue to look for permanent work that was mentioned in the "Original Plan" however we're moving on to Plan A.1. In this plan Eric will spend the majority of his time focusing on his own projects. He will finish re-writing his own script so that he can sell it to bring in some income. He'll also work toward getting scripts completed with his friends and colleagues so that he can produce those on low budgets down here. Basically, if no one else is going to give him a job he'll just have to make one of his own.

My Feelings
At first this kind of made me nervous to think of no consistency of income, but anymore I feel pretty okay with it. I think it will be just fine. We're going to move forward with faith and so far that is already paying off.

Fathers and Marriage

2009-07-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

I read this article today and it really touched me. The article does include a sad and tragic story, but it's so much more than that. We do in our society think that fathers are insignificant to our lives and the lives of our children. Marriage and divorce is treated as lightly as middle school romances. Marriage is a sacred covenant we make with our spouse. It should be regarded as a serious contract to not be broken. If it becomes absolutely necessary then it can work, but all other options must be eliminated first. On the subject of father's we should all do better. A father is a huge influence on a daughter's self-worth and on a son's sense of male responsibility. The way a father treats the mother of his children will illustrate how man-woman relationships should work.

As adults we should all try harder to be responsible for the ourselves and the children we bring into the world. How can larger institutions (ie. companies, government, etc.) function when the smallest of them all (families) are crumbling. We need to do better!

Immigrants and the Economy

2009-06-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article today about how hard the economy has hit immigrants, in particular illegal immigrants in this country. I am not opposed to immigration and I'm often more liberal in my acceptance of "illegal" immigrants. They are trying to better their lives and do what is good for their families.

However, the article was pointing out how much they are struggling now too because of the economy, but that they don't want to go back to their home countries. One even said that Mexico was a third world country. I can understand not wanting to go back to that because I wouldn't want to either.

I'm mostly upset that this article is trying to get me to feel bad for them or to show how horrible their situation is. Well, I'm in a pretty hard situation too. My husband has been looking for work for at least 6 months, if not longer. Still, he has found nothing. As much as he wants to work, there isn't really work to be had.

I just don't want to feel bad for people who walked into this country illegally and are having a hard time. I won't feel bad for that. I'm even trying to not feel bad for my own situation. It's hard, but eventually things will improve.

Fat

2009-06-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

So, I want to know why doctors don't just tell those of us who are overweight that our excessive pounds is likely the cause of our medical problems. Dealing with infertility issues I knew in my heart that it was because I was overweight, but not one of the doctors I spoke to even mentioned that. In fact, they were giving me medicines and other things to help me get pregnant. They didn't even consider that it would be unhealthy to get pregnant at my weight. As much as I want children, I know that I have work to do on my own health to make that possible. Different individuals in my family have had various health concerns/problems. Never do doctors really say that they need to lose the weight or that their problems could be related to the obesity that tends to run in my family.

Of course, no one wants their doctor to say, "You're fat! There is no hope for your medical condition." But maybe a gentle reproach with some guidance. Why don't they send you to a dietitian or at least help you lay out a plan for losing weight? So many medical problems are related to weight, yet doctors are too afraid to say anything about it. Is it some sort of job security? If people stay fat they'll have to keep coming to the doctor.

Tori and Dean

2009-06-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

I totally saw Tori (Spelling) and Dean (McDermott) last night. We were going to see Up at the Arc Light Theater at the Sherman Oaks Galleria and right before we got on the escalator Tori and Dean were in the midst of a conversation. It was just like any other couple you might see standing there. They weren't filming for their show and no paparazzi were around. At first I wasn't sure if it was Tori because she had huge sunglasses on, but then when I saw Dean it was for sure them. I didn't want to stare so I just looked quickly and kept going on my way. This is my first celebrity sighting while I was just out and about since I moved to LA. I thought it was cool since I watch their show and think I'm a lot like Tori in some ways.

Advise or not to advise?

2009-05-28T12:28:00.000-07:00

So, after talking to a friend last weekend I've decided I would like to start a website/blog/column to give people relationship advice. This will range from finding someone to be in a relationship with, to marriage to family relationships. I'm still in the preparatory stages, but I wanted to know if you'd read it or even think it's something I should do. I'm just throwing this out there to see if I should move forward. Thanks!

Integrity

2009-05-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about integrity. There are two things on my mind:

1. I learned what integrity was long before I knew what the word was. My father is a man with great integrity and I believe that's how I learned it. He was never dishonest for his own gain. He didn't cheat people. He is honest in his work. And I can say that it hasn't always been easy. Because of his integrity he doesn't cheat anyone out of a fair wage even if he can barely afford it or has to go without, he might not get the promotions or credit he deserves at work, and people may not realize how valuable he is. However, he has extraordinary value and character. He is very loyal due in part to his integrity. I'll just share one experience that has always reminded me to have integrity in my life. When I was 17 I was trying to find a car to buy. After looking for awhile I found the cutest car. It was perfect and I wasn't too short in it either. The cost ended at $700. The lady even said that she'd write down the sale price as lower so I could pay less in sales tax when we registered it. I thought it was a great deal, but my Dad in his quiet way declined that offer because it simply wasn't honest. I didn't mind since I had enough money saved. That happened 7 years ago now, but it means everything to me. To know that principle was more important than my self interest taught me so much.

2. At work there is a project they're doing with another company and the other company has completely lacked integrity out of greed. They want the business and the money, but they don't necessarily have the know how. Every time it has been brought up that they don't know what they're doing or what not they just try to hide from it or deny it. It has now reached a point where some individuals could be fired or required to reimburse us. It's really bad. In this economy can people really afford to lose their company money or their own jobs? I don't think so. A little bit of integrity in knowing your own limitations was all that was required. People are much more likely to forgive a humble and repentant person than a greedy, arrogant SOB.

So, let's all take a clue from my father. Let's leave the self-interest to lobbyists and do everyone a favor and behave with a little more integrity.

Los Angeles

2009-05-12T21:11:00.000-07:00

I frickin' live in Los Angeles! I live here! I have an apartment, a job and even a parking space here. I know it's been about 8 months, but I'm still totally in shock. When I was younger I always thought it would be cool to live here, but I never thought I would. I imagined myself marrying some accountant or engineer and moving to the midwest. That just isn't how it happened, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I live in a really awesome city with cool new things going on all the time. I feel like I'm in on all the inside jokes on TV and in movies. Sometimes I just look out our front door to see the Hollywood Hills and all the lights just in awe that I actually live here. It hasn't been easy, but it's totally been worth it. There is plenty here to displease, but there is also something magical about this place. I love that I still get excited about living here. It's just so cool and with my husband being in film it's only going to get more exciting. Things are just great!

My hubby!

2009-05-06T14:55:00.001-07:00

Something got me thinking today about if I could survive without Eric. Not necessarily if he died, but we were separated by time, distance, parallel universes or whatever. At first I thought sure I’d be fine. I could take care of myself. It would be a little sad when I wanted a kiss or a hug and he wouldn’t be there, but I’d survive. Then, I thought about how hard it would be when I was sad or having a bad day. It would be hard to not have my support system there, but again I would survive because I’ve done it all alone before. Then, I had a scary thought come to me. If we were separated, but I knew Eric was hurt, sad, depressed or whatever I would go insane. Just thinking about it made filled me with frustration. I wanted to reach out to him to make it all better, but I couldn’t. If we weren’t together and he needed me I would feel so powerless and out of control. I always want to be there for him to pick up his pieces. I realized as I was going through these emotions that I really do love Eric. Not like I didn’t know before, but this was a clear indication that I love him completely, more than I love myself. I can struggle and hurt, but never in a million years do I want him to struggle with anything.

Privacy

2009-05-01T12:27:00.001-07:00

So, I read this article today. It’s about how people are more likely to give up information about themselves as they see other people do the same. It made mention of sites such as Facebook where many of us share our lives with people. Often we share more than we should or more than we thought we wanted to. Essentially as we see people share very personal secrets we are willing to do the same. The secrets don’t have to be the same, but as the level of secrecy increases in other peoples’ sharing so does our. Their example was to say that when other people admit to cheating on their spouses we might feel more at ease with admitting to cheating on our taxes. Reading this made me think of a few things.

I think it’s better that we’re sharing because we stop feeling so alone knowing that we’re not the only ones with certain secrets. We aren’t the only ones who make mistakes, but just as they pick up and move on so can we.
This constant sharing and knowing that others are doing the same can give us a false sense of security. We start to feel that the “bad” things we’re doing can’t be that bad if so many other people are doing the same. It kind of makes bad choices acceptable because they’re normal.
It’s interesting to me that so many people have so many BIG secrets. People tend to hold onto secrets because they are painful to share or they did something wrong. Perhaps if people didn’t so many inappropriate or immoral things they wouldn’t have so many secrets to keep.
The people who commented on this article did not read the same article I read. They all went on about how much information we’re giving away like our names, email addresses, etc. Sure, it’s important to protect our privacy from those who might do us harm, but I’m fairly certain that wasn’t the point of this article; at least not for me. We are giving away far more important personal information than that. We are confessing our sins to the world and not to God anymore. We are trying to find absolution by the easing of our conscience when we admit wrong-doing. That however, is not the way for us to find forgiveness from the ones we’ve hurt or from God.
Perhaps, this shredding of privacy is a sign of distancing from God in our society. If we lose those intimate relationships in our lives we seek for them elsewhere. Part of intimacy is sharing the deepest part of ourselves with someone else. Without an intimate, close relationship with God perhaps we’re seeking it with the open world. I don’t know, but I thought I’d throw the idea out there.

Okay, those are my ideas on privacy. What are yours?

Outrage

2009-04-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

Last night at the gym I was just watching Larry King Live while I pushed myself on the elliptical machine. Then, there was a commercial about a couple with this completely wretched husband. The kind of guy you see a grandma smacking with her purse. Anyway, as he leaves the wife winks at this guy at the restaurant bar. Then, the product is named. It's for a website with the slogan, "When divorce isn't an option." I'm not going to list the website because it's absolutely disgusting. I couldn't believe what I thought it was, but I saw it again tonight. I checked it out when I got home. It's absolutely a website for married individuals to find someone else to have an affair with. It's in complete promotion of extra-marital affairs.

I'm just so appalled that someone saw a need for that "service". It's more appalling that they are doing enough business that they can afford advertising. It just can't even express in words how unbelievably angry that website makes me. People should not be having affairs. I think if there is a problem in a marriage the couple need to try to work it out and not add onto the problems. There are all sorts of moral issues that I won't even get into here. I suppose also I just hate how people these days feel like they can just escape their problems but doing whatever pleases them. As the adage goes, "Two wrongs don't make a right."

The Economy

2009-04-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

For many of you who read my blog this probably isn’t your thing, but it matters to me. I read this article this morning. For me it was frustrating to see that our government had been foolish in spending all this “bailout” money. You can’t just throw money at the problem to make it go away. I’m a fiscal conservative. I don’t believe in big government or big government spending. I really believe that money should have gone into job creation. I mean just look at the infrastructure of our nation. It’s completely falling apart in some ways. I’m not an expert, but I think there were better options for how to heal this economy. People need to feel stable financially before this economy will stabilize. The only way for people to have financial stability is to get them back to work and have them working in jobs they aren’t afraid to lose. Until people have the money to pay off their debts and what not the banks need to continue to be scrupulous in their loaning of money. It’s not going to be easy, but giving more money to banks is not the answer. It is not the most efficient way to put money back into the economy.

WB Lot

2009-04-05T00:04:00.000-07:00

So, in the continuation of my time with my mom I also took Friday afternoon after early this week. (Read the previous post for what we did earlier this week.) Anyway, through his internship Eric was able to get my mom and I passes onto the WB studio lot. It was seriously so much fun, but I wore the wrong shoes which made it a bit more difficult for me. Anyway, once we got there we decided to have lunch at their cafe. The food was really good and not too expensive at all. From there Eric took us exploring. We saw the old exterior for ER. But eventually we also found one of the old sound stages that was open. We walked through the "ER". They had a warning up though that the set was under surveillance because too many items were being taken as souvenirs from the show by people who worked there. We didn't take anything, but just had a look through. We also saw some cool people while we were on the lot. On the right is Simon Baker from "The Mentalist". In the center is Ryan Stiles. I only saw the back of him, but it was definitely him. He was guesting on "Two and a Half Men" and on the right is Johnny Galecki. He was walking out of the "Big Bang Theory" sound stage. That is a show that Eric and I really love. If you recognize him, but not from that show it's because he used to be on Roseanne too. He was actually really good looking in person, not like the nerdy characters he plays. We didn't talk to him since he looked like he was in a hurry to leave. We didn't even talk to any of them, but really it was just cool to see them wandering around minding their own business too. It was just another day of work for them.

While on the lot we hit up some of their little shops. It was fun. They sell cheap DVDs, souvenirs, Jamba Juice, etc. It's like a little world unto it's own. Our last stop on the way out was the WB museum. The whole second floor is for Harry Potter items. They had a lot of original outfits and creatures from the movies. Biggest spider I've ever seen. The best part though was the original sorting hat and stool from the first movie. We were actually all sorted. I was sorted into Hufflepuff, Eric of course was Gryffindor and my mom more surprisingly ended up in Slytherin. It was so cool to see the real stuff, but we definitely couldn't touch anything. It was the kind of museum that was hands off. Besides Harry Potter they had other cool costumes for us to look at it. Lots of different movies.

Anyway, it was a really fun day. It was just super cool to be there and think that as Eric works on his career he might be able to get us onto other studio lots and see stuff there. I feel so privileged to be married to Eric and be able to enjoy this very exciting and surreal life here. You couldn't ask for much more!

Crazy Monday

2009-04-04T23:12:00.001-07:00

So, my mom has been in town for the past week. I need to write about the fun we've had. On Monday and Tuesday of this week I took the afternoons off and we just went wild. On Monday when I came home from work we went out to In N Out for lunch. The classic Californian burger. After that we headed up toward the Hollywood sign. We got some cool pictures there. Eric found this cool path one day and so we walked a little ways up and took pictures. Eventually Eric and I will walk all the way up. I just need to wear more sensible shoes next time. It's a cool picture to have and we like it.

After that we drove down to Hollywood Blvd. We saw Grumman's Chinese Theatre, the Kodak Theatre and the stars on Hollywood Blvd. We didn't actually get out of the car though because it was pretty crowded. So, we drove on and ended up at the Beverly Center so Eric and my mom could go potty. It was fun being there, but we didn't have any money for shopping so we paid our $1 for parking and moved on.

The next stop was the La Brea Tar Pits. Really, it's more like just one Tar Pit. It's this place where anciently tar was bubbling to the surface of the earth and lots of animals' remains were stuck there. Now, it's been filled with rain water and stuff so the pit is more of like a really dirty pond. Lots of dinosaur fossils have been found here. It's still a very active place. Methane continues to bubble up. Randomly big bubbles would come to the surface of the "pond" and it smells kind of bad. Tar is even coming up in little spots along some walk ways and across the street on the curb. Just a cool place in history right in the middle of Los Angeles.

After we went there we drove up Wilshire Blvd to Rodeo Dr. We definitely didn't get out there because we can't even afford to get out of the car on Rodeo Drive. It was fun to see the stores there though and dream of what life could be like.

We headed up through Beverly Hills after that and saw some pretty cool homes. We ended up on Mulholland Drive and saw some spectacular houses down below. We even stopped at some of the look out points. There were amazing views of downtown LA and the Valley depended on which side of the road you were on. To the left is a picture Eric took of downtown LA. It didn't look as smoggy in real life. It was actually really beautiful. Everything just goes on forever. It's cool to be part of something so big. I really like living here. We live near some cool stuff, but also it's just super fun.

After we went there were came home and had dinner. We all nearly fell into bed we were so tired and it was only 7pm when we got home. Just so much to see around here

On Tuesday we had a little time and just kind of chilled out around home. Then in the afternoon we headed to the WB to watch a taping of the run through for Kelsey Grammer's pilot of his new TV show. The current title is "The Pryor's". I liked it and I think it will be fun to watch, especially with your family. You should be able to see it this fall. Kelsey looks really good and fresh. It's a different character for him, which is nice to see. It was a really good time to see them work through things and start some scenes over. Since it wasn't the official taping of the show he still used his script at times, but it was still great. I recommend going to a taping for anyone that comes to LA. It's just so much fun!

I'll write more later for the other things we did this week. It was just tons of fun!

Why we might re-think Obama?

2009-03-09T12:03:00.001-07:00

Nothing I’m about to say is based on any facts or solid information, just my experiences as an American. Right now, the economy is in bad shape; even my family is struggling with some of that fall-out right now. In the media though we continually see President Obama making speeches about what he’s doing to “fix” the economy. He’s doing very well in the polls, which is great for him. But it reminded me of President Bush. Back in 2001 after the events with September 11th America embraced President Bush. He was dedicated to protecting us and getting rid of this horrible of terrorism. As time went on we stopped liking what he was doing so much and his numbers greatly declined in the polls. I don’t want us to lose hope that what President Obama is doing might actually work and get us out of this situation, but realistically it might not and then we’re going to hate a man that is only doing what we are currently so desperate for him to do. We should watch out what we ask for.

The Oscars

2009-02-22T23:31:00.001-08:00

So, as many of you know, I worked at the 81st Annual Academy Awards (The Oscars) today. The company I work for does the press room for the event. They allow people from the office to come and run microphones and hand out headsets to people. All this happens in a big room at the Renaissance hotel right next to the Kodak Theatre.

I arrived around 1pm. The room was pretty empty. There just a bunch of chairs, tables ant TV screens around. My coworkers and I went to our table where the headsets were waiting to be picked up. The headsets are used by the press to listen to the show when their is someone being interviewed in the room. At the front of the room there is a stage with 2 Oscars statues on it. It's elegant, but not over the top. There is a microphone in the middle of the stage for the winners to answer the interview questions from the press. Anyway, as the afternoon went on the room filled up with different press people. There were about 350 people in the room.

Once the show started the four us that were mic-runners got into place. One in each corner of the room. The press people all had a paper with a large number written on it. When the winner came into the room they would hold up their numbers signifying they wanted to ask a question. The moderator would then list off some numbers and we would run to those people and give them the microphone. Pretty simple stuff. Now for specifics.

Overall it was enjoyable, but my feet are so sore. I should wear more comfortable shoes if I do it again. I was very happy that Slumdog Millionaire won so many awards. Anyone who had an Indian Accent said, "Filum" instead of "film". I thought it was adorable. I love their accent. For the rest of the foreigners a lot of the press questions were asked in their native language so I didn't really know what was going on.

Kate Winslet was beautiful. I was probably within a foot or less of her at one point. Strangely enough it didn't feel any different than being that close to anyone else I don't know. She's beautiful and talented, but she's also just a person. She was very funny while being interviewed. She is a charming woman. I'm happy that she won.

I wasn't too thrilled with Sean Penn. I've found him quite annoying for many years now. Tonight he mostly talked about gay rights and how people who supported Prop 8 are all filled with hate. I don't know, I just don't agree with him and I don't think he's very attractive either. I really wish someone else had one.

They tried to get Hugh Jackman to come up to the press room, but for some reason he couldn't. That was just too bad. I would have loved to have seen him.

The last to come in was the producer, Christian Colson, and director, Danny Boyle, of Slumdog Millionaire. They were also very charming to listen to. They really do make you think dreams can come true. Danny Boyle is a great director. I recomment Slumdog to anyone. It was amazingly good. He also directed a movie called Millions. That is a good movie as well.

One last note, the Oscars are incredibly shiny in real life. Like, not just a little bit, but bright gliming gold. Pretty cool to see in real life. I'll post pictures later with this as they become available.

Family

2009-02-21T23:57:00.000-08:00

Today Eric and I went to his grandpa's funeral in Mesquite, NV. Strangely enough I cried, Eric didn't. (Well, that's not strange since Eric never cries. He has emotions, but doesn't express them through tears like I do.) Anyway, I just wanted to say how moved I was by the service. I'm saddened that I didn't have more time to know Grandpa Hughes. He was a good man, but from the memories that were shared of him he was clearly a better man than I ever understood.

As I sat in the congregation feeling the love of his family I just felt so blessed to be part of it. I didn't know it when I married Eric, but I know now how lucky I was to marry into this family. There is just so much love and support for one another. It's not that my family isn't great, but it's just different with this family. They are unbelievably loving and kind. From the moment Eric and I were married I was part of the family. This drove me nuts at first because they were all strangers to me, but now I love them as though I've known them my whole life too. I'm grateful to have the rest of my life to know them and be embraced by their love.

Thank you Eric for letting me a part of your family!

Gray Skies

2009-02-06T09:04:00.001-08:00

Today is a gray day in LA. It started raining late morning yesterday and hasn’t really stopped. Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s just a misting. The thing is though that I like it. So many people around here, Native Californians mostly, absolutely hate this weather. They are just so used to the sun shine. I however, love this weather. It’s a nice break in the monotony of all the sunshine and busy chaos. Does like this make me feel like I can just get warm and cozy with the one I love. It’s a nice feeling.

In another way this gray weather is kind of an example of our lives right now. We are working hard to survive and pay our bills. However, it’s not so easy. Like the rain’s blessing for the current drought conditions I have a good job that makes it bearable, or better yet survivable, for us to live out here while Eric finds a job. He’s had some decent leads but nothing has really come to fruition. I’m starting to feel very desperate for him to get work. It’s taking a lot of faith and prayers to get us through this. We’re sure he’ll find work, but it’s hard to keep waiting, especially with the economy being what it is.

The one thing though that gray skies have taught us in years pass is that they change. One day gray and the next the prettiest blue. When it rains here the air is actually clean the next day. So, maybe all this difficulty for us and for Eric to get a job is just preparing for something greater and better. I suppose we’ll have to wait out the storm to find out.

Friends

2009-01-27T07:28:00.000-08:00

Eric and I went to Utah this past weekend. It was much too fast, but it was so enjoyable. Everything was perfect. We were able to see so many of our friends. Seeing them has made me realize what I'm so homesick for while living out in LA. I miss my friends and being able to see them. Starting a new life is hard especially without the support system of friends. Of course, Eric and I have made some friends out here, but it's not the same (yet) from friends you've known for years. I want my friends in Utah to know that I love them and they really do mean so much to me. For those of you we saw I'm so happy that we could work out the timing to get together. For those of you we missed I'm really sorry. Next time we'll plan more time so that there is enough to see everyone.

The Office

2009-01-18T14:43:00.000-08:00

I found out the other day on accident that The Office is filmed in some actual office buildings behind the one I work in.

If you look at the picture to the left you can see the arrows I have drawn. The green on is pointing to some set pieces from the show. The blue arrow is pointing to the building I work in. That part of the building is our warehouse, but I still work in that building.

If you look at the picture to the right you can see the green arrow pointing at a sign that says, "Scranton Business Park". Below is a close up of the sign. I can assure you though that this is not in Scranton. In the wide shot you can see some of the cars for the parking lot. They're all covered to keep them nice.

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you all about how random it is to work and live in the LA area. Everything can be used for films or television. I just love this show so it's way cool to have it so close to my work. I'll let you know if I end up seeing anything cool.

California vs. Utah

2009-01-10T09:45:00.000-08:00

Eric and I have lived in California for 4 months now. It seems though it has been much longer than that for us. We're comfortable here and it's home now. One thing I have found interesting since being here is that every time someone finds out we moved from Utah they ask, "So, do you like it here?" The thing about this is that it's usually preceded by a comment about how different California and Utah is and what a shock it must be too live here. I don't know if they expect us to say that we don't like here or that California is so much better. I usually just respond that they are so different you can't compare them. And it's true, nothing about Los Angeles and Provo are the same, but they both have so much to offer. However, we are very happy here. This is where it seems that our life really begins. Just to show that there are good things about both places that are so very different from each other I will list my "Top 5 Pros" for each location.

Provo

Mostly everyone was the same religion. It made an instant connection with other people.
It was smaller, so it felt like a cozy place to live.
I lived there for 5 years, 3 of them with a local, so I knew my way around.
Parking was always free and pretty easy to find.
We lived near family.

Los Angeles

We can see the Hollywood Hill from our front door and the beach is only 30 minutes away.
It's so big that there is always something to do or another place to go. No boredom!
Eric is able to work in the field he loves and we get to do so many cool things.
My skin looks way better here. That's always a good thing.
We will start our family here and this will be our home for years to come.

I could go on and on about how great both places our, but L.A. is the right place for us to be and we are so happy here. It is always hard to let something go that makes you feel comfortable, but that happens in life. The possibilities here are endless and I can't wait to see what is going to happen for us.

Update

2008-12-14T19:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it's been forever since I posted anything worth reading. About Twilight, it was alright. The script was written as well as the book. Take that statement for what it's worth to you.

Moving on now. Since then was Thanksgiving. We had a nice day with friends. Work was good for me the day before and after. It was so quiet and slow, but I totally enjoyed my work. I still really like my job and I'm so happy I found it. Things are getting busy with sending out holiday cards. I'm sure after this week it's going to slow down quite a bit as lots of people start heading out on vacations and what not. I like it when it's slow, but I like it being busy too.

Right now we're just preparing for Christmas, which is going to be simple this year. Moving out to LA was really a gift to ourselves, which has left us with little to spend on other presents. We're happy though and just looking for the time off to spend together. Right after Christmas Eric's parents are planning a trip down here. It'll be fun to see them. I really miss having them around and talking to my mother-in-law. It's also nice just to have family see where we live and what life is like for us.

Eric finally finished up his internships... kind of. He's still going and will continue to do so until he finds a permanent job. He's looking for work as an assistant to a literary agent. It'll be great for him and his career. However, I'll just be happy for him to have a job, which will make paying our bills a little less stressful. No one is hiring until after the first of the year though. And, with the impending SAG strike no one might be hiring until it's decided if they will or won't strike. We're just being prayerful and diligent that he will find something at the right time. I'm feeling very hopeful right now and that makes it much easier to work through it all.

Alright, that's a general update for what we've got going on right now. Let me know if I forgot any information you'd like to know more about. Thanks!

Twilight

2008-11-22T17:06:00.000-08:00

I saw Twilight today. It was interesting. Lots of screaming girls in the theatre. More details to follow.

This Past Week

2008-11-16T19:07:00.000-08:00

This past week was my first full week at my new job. Overall, I would say it went well. Monday and Wednesday I helped out in the accounting office. They were behind because they're moving all the companies accounting to this office and not separated to each of the other offices. I also spent 3 days doing my job as receptionist. Tuesday was a bit intimidating, but Thursday was great. I really felt on the ball with stuff and handled many different things at the same time. Friday, now that was just a bad day for everyone. There was a rude driver behind me on my way to work, Eric was at home not feeling well and then it just went downhill from there. For the most part I handled my job well, but it just wasn't happy. I'm still learning and I enjoy it, but we all have bad days at work. It's been a good weekend though so I'm ready to go back tomorrow and try at it again.

It was a pretty crazy week besides work too. Monday night we had F.H.E. at our friends place. So, we came home and made dinner then went to their place until about 10pm. When we got home it was time for bed. Tuesday we went to a special screening for the movie Slumdog Millionaire. It was a really good movie. We didn't find out until the next morning that it was going to be rated R. I think it's rated that because there is some violence, not too intense, but it was there. I think even with that it was a sweet movie with a good ending. It definitely leaves you with hope. Anyway, on Wednesday night I came home and prepared some dinner to go in the crock pot. After I got that ready I went and picked up Eric to go to a blood drive for our stake. His scheduled time was 7:30pm. We got there about 7:15 and he filled out his paperwork. (I can't give blood, but I was there to support him.) We had to wait about 2 hours before Eric was able to give blood. The line was just so long, but at least we had friends there so it didn't seem like it was really all that long. Eric pumped really fast, but near the end he got a little faint and so they put his gurney down and feet up. One of the ladies started giving him lots of juice while he was laying there. I finally stepped in to help him out too. It was so hard to see him like that. Every time he tried to sit up for the juice he would shake so much. I think he was just really weak. He finally felt well enough to leave. Thursday though was a different story. By the end of the day he just felt sick and faint. I picked him up from work and we got some dinner. We finally had a night to just be home. We watched The Office and 30 Rock. It was a good night. Since then we've just been enjoying our down time. I'm grateful to not have such a packed week coming up. It will be nice to have some breathing room for once.

Work!!!

2008-11-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

Alright, since Eric and I got to California we knew that I would need a job since he would be interning, which would likely be unpaid. Right before we found our apartment I started looking for work. The day after we moved in I started a job that was temp to hire. It was alright, but I was never sure it was the right job for me. Turned out they needed an actual accountant and not an accounting assistant so I didn't get hired permanently. It really was for the best because I wouldn't have been totally satisfied there. For about the next 3 weeks I looked for a job. I went on several interviews, but nothing really came of it. I can't even begin to imagine how many of my resumes are floating around out there. Then, I was offered a job. I didn't want to do it and knew that I would hate it. However, we really needed the money so I did it. It was so lonely and frustrating. After I got home after my second day I actually cried to Eric. The next morning I got teary-eyed because I didn't want to go to work. Then, I cried at work. So, Eric told me I needed to quit. I went in the next day and after lunch (when the boss came in) I told him that I would work one more day and that would be it. He was pretty cool about it so that was nice. I kinda trained the girl he brought on after me. That made the day go a little bit better. I was just so relieved to be away from that job. Oh, during this week of hellish work I got a call about a job interview the next Monday. I was so excited about it and that only made me want to quit more. This Monday, I went to the interview. I decided that I either did a really good job or a horrible job at the interview. It was one of those interviews that could go either way. Later that day Juliette, the HR manager, called to do a phone interview with me since she wasn't able to meet with me earlier in the day. We had a nice chat and I was even more excited about the work, but I still wasn't sure. Yesterday, I received a call from the woman I interviewed with and she said that they were just waiting for my background check in Utah to come back and they'd offer me the job. I was very excited. This morning, she called and offered me the job. They are paying me more money than they planned to pay for this position and I will get full benefits. It's the perfect job and everything I need.

Oh, you might be wondering where it is and what I'll be doing. It's for a company called Cre ative Technology. They are an entertainment/technology company. They do staging for large events, check out the website. I will be the receptionist/administrative assistant in their LA office (which is in Panorama City, not LA). I won't even have to get on the freeway to get to work, so nice. I will do reception work and then any other overflow stuff that people around the office need done. I will be kept busy and that's the way I like it. It's kind of intimidating, but I'm really excited to do it too. Yay for work!

This is a huge blessing. I have had quite the interesting journey to find employment, but the beauty of it is that we've always had enough money to pay our bills and what not. Truly, this challenge has been fun and exciting, but a little scary too. Now, I get to work for real and have a routine. I'm so excited! Plus, now I get to go shopping for some work clothes. Yipee!

Prop 8 Passed!

2008-11-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

It looks like Prop 8 has passed making it part of the California constitution to only recognize marriage between a man and a woman. It is quite a success for those of us who participated in the process. I'm happy to have helped to make a difference. I don't know that my life would have been very different if it failed, but I know that there would have been an impact on my children and the future of our society if the proposition failed. We did what was right before we could even fully know how right this decision could be. Congratulations to all the supporters of this proposition!

Addendum to Prop 8 Posting

2008-11-04T14:18:00.000-08:00

This is just another thought from my previous post and the comments that were made. Please read!

A friend brought up a good point about how the supreme courts (state or federal) are part of the system of checks and balances in our government. He mentioned this to my complaint that 4 judges in California ignored the votes of Californians and said that gay marriage would be recognized in this state. Although I agree that the supreme courts are part of the checks and balances in our government, I do not believe it was ever intended to be a checks and balance for the voice of the people. They do not have the right to interpret the constitution just as they see it as a balance to the voice of the people. As Abraham Lincoln said in his Gettysburg Address, "...government of the people, by the people, for the people..." This government was established to serve the people of this country. As public servants they should uphold the desires of the people. It is not a perfect system, but it does work. I suppose we will see what the voice of the people is when all the votes are counted.

Prop 8

2008-11-04T10:05:00.000-08:00

Today is election day if you haven't heard, but I'm sure you have. Having just recently moved to California we weren't able to vote. However, that does not mean we couldn't participate in the political process. The cause we chose to support was Proposition 8 in California. This proposition will put into the state constitution that only marriage between a man and woman will be recognized. Just a couple things about that.

Domestic partnerships between same-sex couples will still be recognized and they have all the rights and responsibilities of married heterosexual couples.
This does not change the laws.
Californians have voted to prevent same-sex marriage before.
God has ordained marriage between a man and a woman, but not whoever else feels like it.
Marriage is not a right, definitely more of a responsibility. (Anyone who is married should know what I mean.)
I do not hate or dislike homosexuals. I am just standing up for what I believe in.

In our support of Voting Yes on Prop 8 Eric and I have spent some time at a call center. There, we made calls letting people know about Prop 8 and encouraging them to vote YES. This morning we went to a polling location with a list and crossed off everyone who had already voted. From there the list of those who haven't voted will go to a calling center where they will remind those who said they would vote YES to be sure they do so today.

I know that people don't agree on this issue, but that's the beauty of voting. We can all have our voices heard. At the end of the day we'll see what the people of California have decided. In the mean time let me know what you think. I would love to hear both sides!

California Weekend

2008-10-26T15:38:00.000-07:00

So, this has been a very exciting weekend for Eric and I. I'll give you a run down from day to day.

Thursday

I received a call from a job I interviewed for on Monday. He wants me to start tomorrow. This would appear to be good news, but I'm not so sure. I'm not really excited about the job and I'm not sure if I'll be happy there. However, we need the money and it's not a horrible job so I'm going to try it out for now. I think it will be fine and in this economy I'm very fortunate to have been able to find a job. It truly is a blessing regardless of my feelings for the work. I'll let you know how it goes.
We cleaned and organized to prepare for Eric's brother's family to get here with our stuff. They left Utah in mid-afternoon. They arrived here around 1:30am. There was so much stuff packed in their truck. It was crazy, but we're so excited to have our stuff. There is more in Utah, but we'll get it eventually. Anyway, we got it all unloaded and finally went to bed between 3:30 and 4:00am.

Friday

Eric and I slept in until about 11am. We were so out of it. Zach and Megan (Eric's brother and his wife) slept in as much as their baby would let them. They didn't fully get up until about 11am either. They had more interruptions than we did though.
We all got ready and left around 2pm. We hit up an In-N-Out for lunch. As usual it was delicious. If you haven't had a Neapolitan shake you should try it. It's super delicious.
After this we drove down the 405 to get to the beach. We thought it would be fun to go to Venice Beach, but while looking for parking Eric noticed that it looked kind of dirty. So finally, we decided to head up more toward the Santa Monica beaches. They are quite nice. We finally found a place and stopped. It was around 80-85 degrees outside. The guys got in the water first and then Megan and I went and changed. The water was so fun. It was cold at first, but it didn't last too long. We stayed until about 5:30 or 6:00. We were there when the sun went down. It was absolutely gorgeous and not crowded at all. Oh, the crazy thing that happened is that I saw a guy get totally naked changing into his bathing suit. I was just surprised that he would get naked in front of everyone. Fortunately I just saw the side of his leg and nothing else.

Once we got home Eric and I quickly showered so we could head over to Eric's mentor's house. (I'm going to call him mentor because he's the one in the business who has really helped Eric out and put him in contact with a lot of really helpful people.) We arrived a little bit before 9:30. We had pizza and played Taboo. We didn't leave until 12:30am. We are so happy that we went even though we ended up tired.

Saturday

We got up a little bit earlier on this day. We wanted to go down and see some Hollywood landmarks and hot spots. We took the long way though so we could drive down Mulholland Dr. to see Beverly Hills. It was cool and there are some ridiculous houses on those hills.
Then we hit Hollywood Blvd. We really wanted to see Mann's Chinese Theatre. It's really cool, but not something to spend hours looking at. We did check out all the handprints and stuff. My favorite was the Harry Potter one.

After that we walked up and down the street seeing what we could see and having lunch. We saw the Kodak theatre and Ripley's Believe It or Not! We got pretty tired though and went back to the car so that we could go see the Hollywood sign. We found a super cool look out and Zach took some good pictures of us. I'm glad we have this picture.
After this we had them drive by Disney studios and the WB building that Eric interns at. That was cool for them to see how massive it all was.
Once we got home Eric and I had to rush to the store to buy groceries for the chili cook-off for our ward Trunk or Treat. I didn't win. I think it was too salty, but Eric liked it. Anyway, we got back and quickly made that so we could hurry off to the Trunk or Treat.
The activity was so much fun. Zach and Megan dressed their little girl like a lady bug. She was totally adorable. She loved our friend's dog. Megan also got excited when Bart Johnson who plays the dad in the HSM movies showed up. (He's in our ward.) She got her picture taken with him. It was super cool.
Finally we came home and watched Toy Story and headed to bed.

Alright, so that's about it for our busy California weekend. There was never a dull moment and we are exhausted from it. We loved having them here and all that they did for us. It was nice to get out and enjoy what this great metropolis has to offer us. Anyway, we're ready for a new week to start tomorrow. I'll let you know about any other adventures that we have.

"The Valley"

2008-10-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

So, I just wanted to write a little something about where we live and how cool it is. We live in the San Fernando Valley. This is "the valley". You know, the one that Cher mentions in Clueless when she gets stuck at that gas station after the party? Yeah, that's where we live. Although, don't let this picture fool you. It's a very large valley. We live just over the hill from Los Angeles. We can actually just drive up the hill to get to Beverly Hills. We can be to Santa Monica in about 30 minutes or Hollywood in 15-20 minutes.

It's really cool living here because it feels somewhat secluded from the chaos of LA, but we're still so close. I also love that after living here for a month I'm really starting to know where I'm going. I can take back roads and still make it home okay. Sometimes I like it when we take the wrong road or go a different way because then we get a little bit more familiar with the area. It's a huge area. Let me show you another picture. This is a vista of the San Fernando Valley, but it only shows part of the valley. We live to the east of here. It's so massive, but it feels much smaller when you're living in it.

I just wanted to let you all know about how cool it is to be living out here. We're excited for our lives here. We hope can all come visit and enjoy everything we get to enjoy as well.

Arrogance and my First Bar

2008-10-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I wanted to apologize for my slightly arrogant post yesterday. I hope no one read it and thought I was super arrogant for my belief in being able to help people. By no means do I believe I'm the only person who can help others or that I'm superior at it. I just love people; it's a strange hobby, but it's the one I got. Anyway, my greatest apologies for anyone I might have offended.

Now, about the bar. I went to one in downtown Hollywood last night. How weird is that? It was a get together for one of Eric's internships. It took us forever to find parking. Then, once we get there it was so loud and crowded. (Fortunately, you can't smoke indoors in California so we could at least breath in there.) We weren't quite sure who everyone was even. We talked with some people and met a few more. We probably stayed for about 30-45 minutes. Then, we just felt weird not drinking and standing around. So, we said our good-byes and left. Finally, we found our way out of town and headed home. We wanted to try PinkBerry, but we couldn't find one near us. On our way home though, Eric quickly exited the freeway and I was confused until I saw In-N-Out. Then, I knew he wanted a neopolitan shake (it's on the secret menu). He ordered two and we had a delicious ride home. Overall, it was a fun night with some new experiences.

Being Needed

2008-10-16T16:12:00.001-07:00

So, last night I was thinking a lot about working and what not. I was thinking because I had two interviews today. (They went really well, but we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.) I realized last night that one of the things I need and have been missing is interaction with other people. I've stayed home alone all day, everyday this week. It just gets so lonely sometimes, especially for me. I don't just want interaction, I need interaction.

In a further pondering, spiritual moment I had last night I realized further that I need to help people. I can't just talk about the weather with them. I need to know about their lives, what problems they're having and how I can help them. I don't know why I, out of all the people that have and will ever exist, was given the ability to talk to people and understand them to the point of being able to make a difference. However, not knowing why this is my gift does not absolve me from the responsibility and the blessing. I want to help others and bless their lives. I'm greatly satisfied knowing that I have helped someone. I'm probably more satisfied (and thus arrogant) than I should be.

In realizing this I know that I need a job soon to fulfill this need I have to interact with lots of different people, but also to help them. I may not be able to help people as much in my work, but I know there are other ways. I could get involved with community service or non-profit groups. Even easier would be to get involved at church and meet more people and fill the gap where I am needed. I just know in my heart that I am needed somewhere for someone and it's driving me crazy not knowing where to go next.

To be employed or not to be

2008-10-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

So, we've been in our apartment for about 2.5 weeks now. It's nice and it's starting to get cozier. The day after we moved in I started a job working in an accounting office. I was helping them reorganize everything (and I do mean everything). I've never sweated so much in heels before. After about a week of doing all sorts of filing and organizing they had me start to learn some actual office type work that they do there. It was getting better and I was liking it more. Oh, important thing to note is that this job was supposed to be temp-to-hire. I was working hard and doing really well compared to other people they'd had in there. I figured I was for sure going to get hired on in a few weeks. However, that's not how it happened. They decided they needed an actual accountant in there to help run the business. (Who would have guessed that an accounting office needed an accountant?) So, they hired someone else and let me go. It's not like I was fired because I was never officially hired, but it still wasn't good news.

The funny thing about it all was that I never felt like it was the job for me. It was just a means to a financial end. Eric and I have an apartment and bills that need to be paid. Fortunately, those 7 days worth of work are going to pay our bills for this month. Rent will come out of savings, but we're lucky to have that. It's only been a week without a job, but it feels like forever. Eric is looking for weekend work too. I'm just trying to not feel desperate.

I have to keep reminding myself that after I was told that I wouldn't be working for that company anymore I had a few moments of complete despair and fear about our finances. But quickly after that I felt reassured and confident that things would work out. The further it gets from that feeling the harder it is to remember it, but I know that somehow it is all going to work out. The right job is out there for me, but it may take some time to find it. I'm just trying to have faith and take those steps that will lead me in the right direction for employment. Who knows where it will be? I sure don't.

Sacrifice

2008-09-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

So, I kind of realized at the temple yesterday that we need to wait on an apartment as a sacrifice. (I kind of simplified this for the sake of not explaining it all, so just go with me on this.) I'm not sure what we're sacrificing for, but I know there is a reason. The definition of sacrifice is to give up one thing for something better. The thing we give up is usually something we really want or even need. Eric and I really want and even need a place to live. However, we feel strongly that we should just wait and sacrifice what we want now for something better to come along.

The good news is that something good might be coming along sooner than we originally thought. Eric met a guy at church today that manages an apartment complex and he happens to have an apartment available to rent in the right price range for us. The guy also has a fridge that he's trying to get rid of that we could probably have. It's also in our friends' ward and stuff. Overall, it sounds like a good deal. We'll go check it out tomorrow and see if we like it and stuff. Maybe this is the answer, maybe it's not. I'm just trying to have patience and not give in as soon as we think we've found a place. I'll keep you all updated.

Homeless!

2008-09-19T14:41:00.001-07:00

So, currently we are feeling quite homeless. We are staying with my grandparents, but they're about 1.5-2 hours out of the area we want to live and work. So, when we're in that area we feel homeless. The trouble is, we aren't finding what we want or need. As we've been praying about what we need to do we get the strong impression we need to wait. Do you know how frustrating that is? We just want to start our lives down there, but we can't quite yet. Right now I'm working on faith and patience until it is the right time for us to get a place. We don't know when it will all turn around, but we know it will. Life is crazy and out of our control. The best we can do is follow the Spirit and have faith it will all work out accordinly.

Los Angeles and Apartments

2008-09-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

So, we've spent quite a lot of time down in the L.A. area lately. It'll be so nice once we actually live there and don't have to commute or impose on our friends' places anymore. It's been strange though, we've looked at several decent, acceptable places, but for some reason we don't feel anything towards them. As Eric and I were out looking at places yesterday we were talking about this feeling of "stupor" about the whole thing. We just felt like it wasn't the right time for us to find a place. We don't know why it is the way it is, but we have that it'll work out.

In the mean time I've been applying for different jobs. I'm actually applying for apartment manager jobs so that we can have a free place to live, but we'll see if any of those pan out. I've applied for a few other jobs as well working in different offices. The right job will come along, but we'll see if I ever get an interview. Eric is doing really well with his career goals. He's had a couple of meetings and interviews. He was actually an "executive visitor" on the Warner Bros. lot yesterday. He has more interviews scheduled for next week as well. If only they weren't all internships and he could get paid. Life is scary here without money. It's already going so fast!

Alright, that's about it for now. I'll do my best to keep you all posted. Thanks for all of our prayers and support. We can use it all right now.

Gas and Los Angeles

2008-09-02T10:13:00.001-07:00

Sorry it's been so long since I've written anything. Eric and I have been working on a film this month. Well, we were only on set for like 2.5 weeks, but then we had to recover. It's a film about scout camp and it was super fun. There were 7 main boys and I just fell in love with all of them. I hope that all their careers will take off. I'm excited to see them succeed in life; once they graduate high school that is.

Anyway, we have much bigger news right now. We are finally moving to the Los Angeles area. We'll look into Burbank any some other near-by cities. We're so excited and a little bit scared. We're going to stay with my grandparents (they live about 1.5 - 2 hours away from L.A.) and visit family at first, then we'll look into places to live and work. We want a bit of vacation before we have to do loads of work and never get a day off again. We might even go to Disneyland. We're very excited! Oh yeah, we're leaving in 4 days too. I can't believe how soon it is. Eric has an interview in about 2 weeks. He will hopefully have a job very soon.

In other, funnier news: gas was spilled in the back of our van. Well, it wasn't a ton, just a slow leak that made our car reek. We spent a lot of yesterday scrubbing the carpet and sucking it up with a carpet vacuum. It's smelling tons better already. We were able to leave the windows down last night so hopefully it's aired out now. I haven't been out there yet today, but I'll let you know how it goes. It made for a really awful weekend. Everything just reeked of gas and I didn't like it at all. So, don't ever spill gas on any carpet you care about keeping around. It's no fun to clean up.

Love

2008-08-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, during Sunday School, a nice man made a comment about the different types of knowledge. One of the types of knowledge is the kind where only on person can know it. For example, he said that the love a person has for their spouse is something only the lover can know. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I agree with what he said.

I often think that Eric loves me more than I love him, but who knows. We can't compare the love we have because we can't know the love someone else has. Sometimes I question my love for him, but I know that I do love him and I love being loved by him. I suppose that since I can't know how he feels about me and how he loves me; I can only know how his actions and words make me feel. I feel loved and cared about.

Love is a tricky thing. We can't always know or understand the love people have for us. So often, this leads us to believe that we aren't loved as much as we truly are. We are all lovable and should trust that there are people out there who love us.

Clowns and Faces

2008-07-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight Eric and I saw The Dark Knight with some friends. Well, I only saw about 75% of it, the rest of the time my hand was in front of my face. I think that I heard about it being so intense and violent that I was really freaked out going into it. However, I'm clearly desensitized because it wasn't nearly as violent (or as gory) as I expected.

Any slight fear of clowns I had before has been solidified by this film though. I didn't like the idea of someone having a fake smile painted on their face, but it's worse now. Not only do I not know what is going on behind the painted smile I will imagine that the person is demented and evil. I especially hate masks because you really have no clue what is going on behind the mask and that just freaks me out. I have no way to read the person and know how to behave appropriately. I don't know if they're evil and I should run away or if they're a victim in need of help. It's truly a vulnerable situation to be face to face with someone in a mask. Clearly, this movie did nothing to relieve my fears of these things. This movie will be with me forever, just as Little Monsters has made me afraid of getting out of bed.

Last, but not least, is the issue of my last post. Aaron Eckhart is still incredibly attractive, but by the end of this film half his face was missing. (I hope I didn't spoil anything for anyone.) He doesn't look good with only half his real face and half a creepy skeleton like face. That was what kept me from the last 25% of the film. I was trying to avoid his creepy side. It's too bad we had to see such a good looking man like that. On the issue of Christian Bale I still stand by what I said. Sure, he's attractive, but his face is too round. I need more structure and strength in the face. I don't like it when the face narrows at the chin. I need a strong jaw. So, essentially I will choose the man with half a face to the man who has half his face covered. Hmm...

Christian Bale and Square Jaws

2008-07-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

So, it has been made clear to me this week that I am horribly abnormal. I discovered this as I realized that I don't find Christian Bale to be ridiculously sexy like every other woman in the world does. Sure, he's attractive, but he doesn't really do much more than that for me.

When it comes to men in the Batman movie, "The Dark Knight" I think that Aaron Eckhart is much sexier. Sure, I have some issues with things in his life, but he is still sexy. I just love his square jaw! It's just so strong and defined.

If we're comparing super heroes in sexiness I think that Robert Downey Jr. in "Iron Man" is way sexier too. He also has a nice jaw, especially with some facial hair. (Maybe I have a jaw thing? Hmm...)

My husband also has somewhat of a square jaw. It only makes sense since he is the sexiest man in my life. So, maybe I'm not horribly abnormal, I just like a different man that doesn't have a round jaw. Oh well, they can have him!

Life is Hard

2008-07-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

I'm currently helping (a great deal) to plan a party with Eric that he might not even be able to participate in. The party is actually for the premiere of his and the four other short films that he and his peers have been working on for nearly a year. It's going to be a really cool event... if things work out. We're not quite sure if his film is going to be done. They have found so many problems that other people have left them. It's been really frustrating, but it can be done. I firmly believe that if they work hard enough the film will come out the way they want in time.

I don't really know what else to say, but it's frustrating. Please, if you feel so inclined pray for this to work out. We need miracles right now!

Married Life vs. Singlehood

2008-07-11T08:50:00.000-07:00

I've been talking to several of my single friends about the ups and downs of being single. I do miss the excitement of first dates, first kisses, first everything really. There are times being married that you just want to scream because nothing seems to be working quite right between the two of you. Yesterday, my friend was telling me that she had a date that night with a guy she was really into. I could tell she was excited and had that butterfly feeling. I was a little jealous to be honest.

So, in my jealousy I told my husband that we should just go on a nice date like we used to when we were single. It's weird though. We don't really need to plan to date because we're with each other most of the day and we go on "dates" regularly. Anyway, he saw one of the emails between my friend and I and realized that was the reason for me wanting to go on a date. He knew I was just being silly and jealous of that time in my life. He hugged me and said that we're at different places in our lives than they are.

After some events yesterday evening and then a horrible dream last night I knew that I wouldn't want to be single again. There is a comfort and security that you find only in marriage. I have the perfect man for me and I couldn't be happier. If I'm ever unhappy in my marriage it is because of my own selfishness and not because of some flaw in our relationship.

Writer's Blog

2008-07-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

I have been having difficulty knowing what new things to write about. I was going to write something last night but it was kind of controversial of a topic and it wasn't going where I thought it would go. I'm just not sure what to do.

I suppose I could write about my life, but right now it's not too interesting or anything. I almost don't want to write about it because then I would have to relive it in all of its frustrations. Maybe soon enough I will have the patience with my life to tell you all the frustrations, difficulties and excitements that are going on. For now, you'll just have to wait and see. Ask if you want to know something specific. That could motivate me to write!

Internet

2008-07-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't posted in awhile and that's because we don't have internet at our new residence. However, it should be up and running by the time I get home from work tomorrow. At that time I will update people on what is going on with our lives. Also, I will respond to the many emails I have received lately. Thanks for continuing to read this!

I am loved!

2008-06-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

So often I forget how much people really do love me. I usually feel that I just exist in other people's lives and have no impact. I'm the person who thinks that no one will remember me even though I remember them. I'm starting to learn that's not so true. It's not that I think I'm too wonderful/awesome/weird/interesting to forget or care about. I'm just realizing that I really do have something to offer people even if I don't always know it.

I have my personal doubts and worries about whether I'm a good person, wife, co-worker, etc. I know that I'm not perfect, but who is? I am always trying to be a better person who loves others. Knowing that others love me in return is a fantastic feeling. It's hard for me to comprehend because I don't always believe it's possible, but I'm starting to grasp the concept.

This post is really to say thank you to everyone in my life (literally, everyone) who has been kind, honest, generous, friendly, patient, and loving to me. I feel your love and it makes a world of difference to a girl who hasn't always believed she could be loved.

Strawberry

2008-06-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

You may think I'm going to post about one of the most delicious fruits in the world, but I'm not. I'm writing about my hair right now. My friend and I decided to highlight my hair last night. When we went to the store to buy the color we decided that it could be fun to just do the whole thing. It was supposed to be this nice pretty medium blonde color. (My real hair color is a dark blonde, not quite brown color.) I knew my hair would pick out the reds in any color that is put on it. It has just always done that. Well, this turned my hair into a very strawberry blonde color. I like it, but man it's a huge change from where it was before. I haven't colored or done anything to my hair in nearly 3 years so I'm not used to it. I will say that I've learned a couple of things from this.

1. Be careful about how much red the color may naturally have because my hair will soak it up.
2. When I just want highlights, stick to that plan!
3. Life is fun! Just enjoy what happens!

In-Laws and Movie Making

2008-06-12T23:13:00.001-07:00

So, we have a new plan for now. We're moving in with Eric's parents next weekend. We'll be living in their basement and have mostly our own space, but we'll share a kitchen somewhat. It's good that I like them and hopefully that will continue. We're only planning to stay there for the rest of this month, July and August. The hope is that Eric will have an internship to go to in the fall and we'll move at that point. We just want to save money right now if that opportunity presents itself.

Also, Eric is planning to make a movie in August. He's working on getting the funding right now and as long as that goes well we'll be good. The next couple of months are going to be very interesting, but we're happy with where things are. We're just trying to let ourselves be available to the right direction and opportunities that present themselves.

Thanks to everyone for your support!

Interview

2008-06-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

On Thursday afternoon Eric finally had a phone interview. It went well, which is great. From what I understand the interviewer is part of a group that wants to get more LDS filmmakers into the film industry. At the end of the interview he told Eric to research at least 10 different companies, what they do and what Eric would like to do for them. Eric is about done with that and will email it to him, hopefully by tonight. Then, this guy will talk to the people he knows in the business and see if he can't find Eric an internship or something of that nature at one of the companies on his list. He said it might be easier to get something in the fall since all the summer interns will have gone home, but we'll see.

Life is exciting right now, but we're still not sure what is going to happen. At least it seems to be moving in the right direction.

Limbo

2008-06-04T14:51:00.001-07:00

We are officially in limbo. We don't know if we're going to stay in the Utah Valley area or move to the LA area. Both have their pros and cons. Some things I want to do more than others. Life is just hard sometimes. I want to go to LA so bad right now, but I don't know if that is the right thing for us to do. I like the comfort of staying in Utah Valley because I know it quite well, but I'm not sure if that is wise for us to do either. Why does life have to be so hard and confusing? Bleh!